Monday, October 29, 2007

Looking Older

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"Mom, I think I'm getting wrinkles," I said.
"Wow," she replied, "Nothing makes you feel old like hearing your daughter say she's getting wrinkles."
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My friend came walking down our stairs, holding her sleeping child, and she paused to look at my bridal picture. "I love that picture," she whispered, "I can't believe how much younger you look! Isn't it sad what kids do to you?"

Ummmm, yes. Let me get this straight - you think I look bad enough that I should be sad about it?
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Well, it's true folks - I'm getting older. The lines around my smile don't seem to go away anymore...even when I'm NOT smiling. My freckles are darker than they used to be - and somehow not so cute. My forehead has permanent lines, and I fear the bags under my eyes are here to stay.

I always knew that I was going to get old and wrinkled - and this never bothered me before. But I think I neglected the fact that I'm getting older every day. That 25 would look different than 20 - even though those 5 years haven't seemed like very long. So I'm coming to grips with the fact that I'm just going to get wrinklier. :)

This wrinkle-thought has started me thinking on beauty and how we are completely dependent on what our own society says is beautiful. When I became a MaryKay consultant (which didn't last long!) I went to a couple of training meetings early on. I remember my director saying, "Selling cosmetics is a smart business to be involved in because there will always be a demand. Even during times of depression - ladies will be discouraged that they can't afford a new outfit...so they'll buy a tube of lipstick instead." Yes, in America lipstick is beautiful. Wrinkles are not.

At the ward Trunk-or-Treat party last Saturday night, I overheard a 'Napolean Dynamite' father ask his 'princess' daughter, "Are you sure you want to wear those shoes outside?" I glanced down and saw that each foot had four toes shoved into a tiny high-heeled princess shoe...the fifth toe wouldn't fit, so it was hanging out the side on it's own. Her back heel was hanging an inch or so off the back of the shoe, but she shuffled a few more steps (with her back hunched over to absorb some of the pain) and said, "YES, Dad. I want to wear these shoes!" I giggled a little bit and the father looked up at me, shaking his head, and said, "The price you women pay for beauty..."

But again, the interesting thing to me is that the price I might pay for beauty isn't necessarily the price someone else might pay, and it might seem down right ridiculous to someone from another culture. My parents visited the Hill Tribes in Thailand and sent these pictures to me. Beauty, to these Thai women, is having a long neck. From an early age, girls wear these gold necklaces around their necks - adding one each year - to give them beauty. They often have cuts and sores on their shoulders and chins from rubbing against the necklaces; and if they take the necklaces off as an adult, they aren't able to hold their own heads up because of poor muscle tone. This seems ridiculous to me. But I wonder what they would say to some of our ideas of beauty. "They cut extra skin off their FACES??" "They RIP the hair off their bodies with wax?? Wait...the hair off of WHERE??"

So, I'm going to make my own society that says: aging is beautiful. My wrinkles show experience, laughter, and wisdom. My bagged eyes show 'motherhood' and, with that, the selfless service involved. My dark freckles show beach trips, camping trips, and other sunny vacations. I don't look like I did when I was twenty because I'm not twenty.

And I'm okay with that.
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7 comments:

  1. Word. Can I join?

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  2. I entered my boys in a baby gap photo contest, partly because I think they are beautiful, but mostly because I want to win the $5000 gap gift card. As I looked at the pictures of the other entrants I realized that every one of the other babies was beautiful in his/her own unique way. I think that is true with everyone, we are all beautiful but unique. What fun would it be if everyone had perfectly smooth flawless skin. It would be like living in a desert without any mountains, rivers valleys or trees.

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  3. Remember a motto that said, "Don't judge your food by its looks or its cooks"? Well, I feel the same about my friends--I won't judge you by your looks either (but I think you look great, bytheway). We have some control over how we age--like eating (semi) healthy and exercising. Other things, like wrinkles, are inevitable. If you have to age, age gracefully.

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  4. I'm not twenty either, evidently. People still tell me I look 18, though. :) No I'm just kiddin'. The way I'm changing is in my lack of ability to DO things. You seem to be staying in shape. Yeah... I'm getting fat and slow. Goody. :) The funny thing is that I still THINK I'm 20. You have one child and one toddler, Brian is on a mission (and 20 by the way!!), and Amber is a year and a half from graduating high school. I... ummm... I am still in the same place I've been for 6 (count them)- 6 years. I see my family getting older, but I don't seem to believe that I'm getting older. One of the only things that actually makes me believe that I'm getting older is the frequent exclamation, "Seriously? You're 24?? Wow. You don't look that old." THAT OLD. Who decided that was a good phrase to use? How old, exactly, is THAT OLD?? However old it is... I've passed it. And now there is no going back. My only hope is to keep acting like I'm 18 for the rest of my life. And THAT is something I am more than willing to do. :)

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  5. Amen...it's a good thing when people stop asking if you are your kids' nanny!

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  6. And I forgot to say, that HAD to be summer who made the comment about your wedding picture...am I right?

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  7. Yeah, isn't it amazing what we all are willing to be considered "BEAUTIFUL"! I'm just amazed sometimes that even our children's clothes are starting to reflect adult fashions. I can't even find a pair of jeans for Katherine that won't show of her bum because they are such low rise jeans. I try small, I try big, nothing works. A Belt? now how is she going to go to the bathroom on her own? It frustrates me that they are already telling our children at 2 and 3 that they don't fit into society's beautiful and "Normal" group.

    Linds, I think you are beautiful and look better now than when you were 20. You are perma-happy and are content with your life. If shows in your attitude and your countinence. (I'm not sure if that's spelled right?) All of that has come with age and knowledge about what it truly means to be happy and beautiful through the light of the gospel.

    And Michelle. Enjoy that you look younger. When you are 40 everyone will think you are in your early 30's. Look at the perks of looking young!! I miss you Michelle!!

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