I think I'm on to Something!

I live in an old house. A wonderful house...but, it's old. And, unfortunately, it smells old. Now, I am exceptionally sensitive to smells and it was always the very first thing I noticed when we were house hunting. Step over the threshold, inhale, and I could immediately tell you whether or not it would be worth seeing the rest of the house. I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped into this 38 year old house and my nose remained uncrinkled as I sniffed away. In fact, I smelled nothing. "Great!" I thought.

Having passed the smell test, and the other few requirements on our list, we bought it and moved in during a beautiful time of year here in North Carolina where neither air conditioning or heating was needed. But, as it started getting warmer and warmer and hotter and hotter, we finally flipped on the air conditioning and, oh dear, what an unpleasant smell came through those vents. Old House Smell. I tried to ignore it for a while - hoping it would just air itself out - but it didn't. I tried to mask it with air freshiners and Febreze, and that totally worked! for an hour or so.

I mentioned my frustrations to a few ladies one morning after we'd been living with the smell for over 5 months, and one of them asked, "When was the last time you changed the air filters?"

Uh, what's an air filter?

Obviously that hadn't been done in the recent past. After getting briefed a little on Home Ownership 101, I made my way to Home Depot with a little speck of shining hope fluttering around in my heart. Was this finally going to get rid of the smell? In the filter isle I came across not only air filters, but a seemingly gold finding - VENT filters! These rectangular shaped filters are designed to slide right into your floor (or ceiling) vents to block out all the old dust being blown through your air ducts. Score! I loaded my cart with the goods and spent the rest of the afternoon 'filtering' my house.

It definitely made a difference - however - I still wasn't quite satisfied. The smell was better, but not gone. Plus the filters are kind of thick - and after a ridiculously high electric bill this last month (we're talking $150 MORE than normal), I couldn't help but wonder if the air wasn't getting through the thick fabric very efficiently. And, since we obviously don't have a very efficient heating system to begin with, I figured we should probably give it all the help we could. So, out went the vent filters.

But now, what do I do about that old house/dead rat smell?

A few days ago, I went to Costco and picked up a bunch of stuff: bread, milk, dryer sheets... and as I opened my trunk to unload all of my goods, the smell of the dryer sheets was almost overwhelming (in a good way). I took them down to the laundry room and plunked them down on top of the dryer...where they stayed until today. I walked into the laundry room today and, again, the smell of dryer sheets was very noticeable and I thought, "Gee, those things sure are potent. ... Wait a minute...."

So, into the vents they went! I taped them to the inside of many vents - and today my house smells like 'fresh linen'. Much more pleasant than dead rat.

I only hope that the smell stays for at least a week...it only takes about 15 minutes to do it all, but doing it more than once a week could get tedious.

Do any of you have any suggestions about how to make an old house smell new?

A Day to go Down in History

I find it fascinating how easily a mother's life revolves around her children. Sometimes I go through phases where I try to reconnect with my pre-mothering self, or try to reground my personality in just myself and God - but I realize, time and time again, that a little piece of my heart is in each child...and their beautiful personalities are woven through and through my own so much that it's impossible to separate one from another. I believe that my emotions will always revolve around their lives and their happiness - and how wonderful that, in this breath of time, my whole life is physically revolving around them, too.

Maybe that's why I was so thrilled when I felt my baby move for the first time tonight. I just love thinking about her cute little hands, and her cute little feet, and the masses and masses of hair she will have when she's born, and those long, dark eyelashes, and that beautiful, beautiful face....... No, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but McKenzie and I are rooting for a girl and since I write this blog, I get to impose my wishes on it. :) And, if the baby is anything like McKenzie, she won't have any real hair until well past her first birthday...but again, my blog. It's been so fun to cheer for a girl with McKenzie - she's kind of in this 'girl power' phase, and I guess I'm feeding into it a little bit. (I just hope she won't be too disappointed if the results come back in favor of a boy.)

What a great ray of light for me tonight, feeling that little nudge. I put on my favorite pair of pants this morning and sighed when I realized that, no matter how hard I pulled, tucked, squeezed or yanked, that blasted button was not going to make it. So, I got out the elastic band to hold it together and felt a little twinge of defeat as I succumbed to my fate for the next few months. I lathered concealer all over my face and, still, those little red blotches shined right through like they were the star of the party (sadly, even in Beautimus...I've made a point to not look in Wretchimus for the next long while). I try not to let my physical appearance dictate my mood for the day...but sometimes it does - so it was great to feel a little nudge of encouragement from my little one, to help me remember exactly why I'm doing this. :)

Happy New Year!

Well, after much deliberation, I've decided not to go backwards and catch-up on the myriads of missed blogging opportunities I've had over the past couple of months. I know, I know, some wonderful things have happened - Thanksgiving and Christmas to mention the two biggest - but I suppose I never really have loved to blog about things that didn't make me think, or laugh ... and, if we're being honest with each other here, I haven't thought or laughed much recently - it's all just been kind of a blur. :)

For Christmas, I'll just say, that it was wonderful. There were so many unexpected pleasures of having our very own Christmas. Of course we missed our families, but there was a quiet sweetness to watching our kids open their presents on Christmas morning and sharing the 'secret behind the magic' with no one but my husband. And, it was pretty funny acting out the nativity scene on Christmas Eve with no one else to be the donkey but Brian. :)
So, with that much of a catch-up, we'll push forward and enjoy the brand-new year!

Do you think it's bad that I probably won't make it much past 10:30 tonight? I love, love, love holidays - I love any excuse to turn an ordinary day into something extraordinary. So, when I woke up this morning and felt a little overwhelmed at the thought of making today a holiday (complete with games and ringing in the new year with my kids at around 8:00pm), I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. This resulted in a small epiphany: Just because it's New Years Eve doesn't mean I HAVE to celebrate it! My husband is not home, my kids do not care...and likely would not even remember it even if I do put a lot of thought and energy into it...so, really, it would all be for me. And, if it's stressing me out, then WHY do it?! Such a liberating thought!

So, instead of spicing up the day with a lot of extra activities and fun food, I started it out by finishing up my laundry. It felt WONDERFUL to put clean, folded clothes into drawers and know that I had no more laundry to take care of for at least 4 or 5 days! That hasn't happened for a while. :) Then, I took the kids to the museum, ran a bunch of errands all over town, organized my thoughts and goals, tidyed up for a quick sweep with the vacuum, vomitted, realized that I was pushing it a little too far to try to vacuum after my 'busy' morning, took my kids to Chick-Fil-A for an AWESOME New Years Eve dinner, put the kids to bed, soaked in a nice hot tub (and wrapped up in one of our nice, extra soft and fluffy 'special occasion' towels), and am now relaxing with my computer on my lap and Shrek 2 playing in the background. Pretty sweet New Years Eve, right!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Missing me yet?

Whew! Well, I'm sure you've all been extremely sad and crushed as I've been so infrequent in my postings recently. I know you're going through withdrawals, because I know how much your happiness hinges on reading about my thoughts. Or, wait...maybe you don't really care. Either way, I do have a rather exciting excuse. Let me share with you a little bit about what my life has been like over the last couple of months:

*This porcelain fixture has gotten to know my face a little too well.

*I've been carrying a stash of these around in my purse, as well as in both bathrooms.

*I am generally NOT much of a nap-taker. If I lay in bed in the middle of the day, my mind starts screaming about all of the other things I should be doing with that precious, quiet time. However, for the past couple of months this beautiful piece of furniture no longer screams "TIME WASTER", but invitingly sings lullabies all day long until I finally succumb to it's gentle promptings and fall into a deep, dreamful sleep in the middle of the day. In fact, all of my free time is spent in it's warm embrace. (Which does not bode well for blogging.)

*I wake up from my dreams feeling like my life has changed in some drastic, yet nonsensical way.

*I can't eat sugar. Such a horrible side effect to have at this time of year. Logically, I know that the beautiful pies, and delicious chocolates, and plates and plates of goodies taste absolutely divine! Yet, my stomach seems to churn at the very though of ingesting...even smelling...the goods. Horrible, horrible.

*My work-out routine went from running 3-4 miles a day, to running for 2 minutes and walking for another 20, to nothing at all. Even walking down the hall gets me all out of breath, nauseous and light-headed.

*It takes me at least 30 minutes to shower. (Wash my hair, sit and rest for a minute, condition my hair, sit and rest for a minute, etc...)

*One of our barstools has a permanent place in my bathroom. This way, I can sit while doing my hair and makeup. (all 5 minutes of it)

*My house looks like a tornado went through it - and I don't even care! This is wonderful to me...the fact that I don't care about it. Generally, my personality would be stressed beyond belief if my house was in the state it's in right now...but, I consider myself accomplished if I can get out of bed and get McKenzie to school with her hair done. Cleaning is not on my list of to-dos at the moment.

*My garbage bin went for FOUR weeks without being taken out on garbage day! Thankfully, we don't really produce that much garbage, so it all fit in the trash bin nicely without stinking up my house...but the recycling bin was overflowing and spilling into the road on that fourth week!

*I had to actually alter my budget to fit in my disgustingly delicious cravings. I don't want sweets, but give me a burger or some fried chicken and I'm in heaven! Thankfully gas prices have dropped so much that I actually have a little extra money to play with!

*I spend a little more time looking at the world through a teary mist - provoked by all sorts of silly things: commercials, cute kid phrases, disobedience from my kids, a husband running late, fighting kids, a nice phone call, memories, Christmas, large messes that I have to clean, etc...etc...etc...

*One of my latest trips to Costco yielded only these two items. You have to understand that I very rarely go to Costco for just a few things - in fact, I think I could probably count the number of times I've spent fewer than $80 on one hand!

*Whenever I feel a sneeze coming on, I have to brace myself lest the tendons in my stomach feel like they're being ripped from one end to the other. I guess on the fourth pregnancy, my body doesn't have much 'tightness' left to it. *sigh*

So, while I haven't been blogging much lately, rest assured that I haven't forgotten you. There have just been...other things...that have been taking my time. :) But, I've made it though my first trimester now, and I'm starting to feel MUCH better - so, hopefully, we'll be back to our regular routine in no time!

WARNING: Side effects may include BBS

Do you ever look at something about yourself and think, "Hmmm...I wonder if that's normal..." Unfortunately, that happens quite frequently with me. When Brian and I were dating, he made fun of many of my 'anatomical wonders' (as he called them). The funny bones sticking out of my feet and wrists, my crooked middle finger, my ever-dilated pupils, my pinky that won't straighten, my curled toes. The funny, tickly feeling I get in the back of my throat when I get licked by a cat, or eat a lot of cheese, or get my bangs cut (and I'm STILL trying to figure out what those three things have in common). The fact that the common 'achy flu feeling' is concentrated in my buttock when I'm sick, or how I feel an uncomfortable 'prick' in my salavary glands under the back of my tongue when I'm about to vomit.

There are some other less bloggable anomolies which I will keep to myself - but I have recently found a new one...or, rather, my doctor has recently found a new one: I have a lazy butt. A lazy butt, I tell you! Allow me to explain:

Ever since I was about sixteen-years old, I've had a slight discomfort in my lower back that comes and goes, and has shown itself to be uncomfortably aggravated by pregnancies - actually rendering me immobile for times with each child. I figured it was just something I'd have to fight through with each pregnancy, so I was quite scared and frustrated when the pain started coming back in July, and got increasingly worse so that by October I tweaked it a little and - BAM - it put me flat on my back for two days. And WITHOUT the help of pregnancy. Poor Brian had to take those days off of work because I seriously could not move - he had to help me do everything (going to the bathroom included), and I realized that I had to do something about this.

So - to the chiropractor I went! He did a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, muttering "hmmm...." and "okay...." and "so....." to himself the whole time, and saying, "lay like this..." and "bend like that..." and "point your toes up here..." to me. At one point, he had me laying face down and had me lift my leg straight up a couple of inches off the table. "AHHHH!!!" he exclaimed. "That's it!"

"Did you find something" I muttered intelligently into the cushion I was face-planted into.
"Yes," he replied. "I want you to keep your leg lifted, and poke your hamstring with your finger." I did so - it was flexed and hard. "Now, take your finger and feel your lower back." I did so - it was flexed and hard. "That is not supposed to be so hard," he explained. "Now, poke your butt." I did so - oh my.

Do I even want to admit how perfectly it jiggled - just like a bowl of freshly scooped jello?

"THAT," he said, "is supposed to be hard."
"Oh...oh, dear," was the only worthwile thing I could think of to say as I felt my face begin to flush with a little embarrassment. After all, I'm not quite used to talking about my butt with some man I hardly know! :) He had me sit up and went on to explain that my pelvis is tilted at an odd angle, making it less convienient for my body to use my butt muscles and that, over the years, my body has compensated by using the muscles in my lower back for all those motions that a butt muscle would generally perform. This, of course, has put extra strain on my lower back that it coudln't handle.

Solution: Butt exercises! While the chiropractor has been working to straighten my pelivis out a little more, I have been in charge of building butt muscle. But, you see, there's a problem with that. I'm developing BBS (big butt syndrome). Oh, the muscle is coming, and the pain is decreasing drastically, but...*whisper* the jello is not leaving. No, The muscle is simply pushing the jello farther and farther away from the center of my body - and - well - I now have BBS.

I've decided that I have to be okay with this, however. After all, it does give me something else to add to my 'anatomical wonders' list. :) And, oh yeah, I can walk again.

Nostalgia

It's foggy outside. If I squint just right at the streetlamp's cone of light, and don't look too closely at the ground, and imagine a quiet stillness, it almost feels like it's snowing. I stood for a long time in the dark tonight, squinting out my window at the fog, letting the Christmas tree lights dance in my peripheral vision, arms folded and toes curled up into my slippers for a little extra protection from the dropped temperatures. And, after a little while of quiet contemplation, unexpected tears started to fall from my squinted eyes. I guess I kind of wished I wasn't standing alone in my living room, pretending to see snow. I opened my eyes and backed up into the couch to cry for a while, and look at my little Christmas tree. We put it up last night, and I was kind of excited that I would be able to spend the whole Christmas season in my own house, looking at my own tree, and focusing on my own little family.

I guess I feel differently tonight.

Tonight, I miss my families...the one I grew up in, the one I married into and, of course, my overworked, exhausted husband...and I'm having trouble swallowing the fact that I won't see them this holiday season (or, at least not much of them, in the case of my husband). I'm sure I'll create more memories of this '1st Christmas at home' but , is it wrong to cry a little for what won't be?

Ah, here I am, miss gloomy-doomy - and after such a long time of silence in my posting! Sorry. I guess I'm just 'ebbing' a little again. I haven't really done that for a while, so I suppose it's about time. Well, I'm sure the tide is on it's way in - and, this time, I think I'll take President Uchdorf's advice and try to lift up someone else, as opposed to sitting around and waiting for the tide to come in itself. I have a feeling that he may know a little secret on how to help me bring in the tide myself. :)

Anyone Wanna Help Me Rake?

Yes...my whole front yard and driveway look about like this - give or take a few spots.

We have been LOVING this fall season with all of our trees! How fun to live in a place where the annual 'leaf-fall' is much greater than the annual 'snow-fall'! I have to smile to myself when it snows here...the whole city shuts down (for valid reasons), yet individual blades of grass still rise above the skiff. Not so with the leaves! Almost every blade of grass is concealed underneath the vibrant layers of tree-debris. It's been so fun for me to stare out my big front window, mouth open in disbelief, and watch the leaves fall so steadily from our trees. As steady as a light snowfall, yet so much more colorful! So far this season we have logged hours of raking, and disposed of numerous piles of leaves...and yet - less than a week after the latest raking session - this is what (only about 1/8th of) my yard looks like:
Perhaps more disheartening than all the leaves on the ground, is all the leaves still left on the trees! I look up, and can barely tell that they've started to shed:

And so, I've thrown my arms up in the air and decided to let them all fall before I rake again. It's just not worth spending 5 hours outside to only enjoy a few hours of 'cleanliness'. So, if you come by, don't be scared off by the concealed driveway, or the seemingly non-existent path up to my front door...just enjoy the fall season as much as I do as I drive on the crunchy leaves, and kick them back up into the air on my way inside the house. Fall only lasts for so long. :)