Apple Worms and Heart Worms

I mentioned before that the apples on our apple tree have ripened and turned into fantastic baking apples. Since then, I've been making apple bread almost as fast as I can eat it (which is doing wonders for my waistline) and as I was cutting into all those juicy apples the other day, I noticed something peculiar.

I picked up an apple that was rather disgusting-looking, fully expecting to throw most (if not all) of it away. But when I cut into it, I realized that the bruised part was really only a small fraction of the entire apple, and that most of it was perfect and delicious! So, I happily cut out the part that needed to go, and sliced up the rest of it to drop into my bread dough.



The next apple I picked up looked nearly perfect. No big bruises, no soft flesh, just two tiny brown spots. But when I cut into that apple, I noticed that there were tiny tunnels burrowed throughout the entire middle (I'm guessing the two tiny brown spots were the entry and exit points of a very hungry, happy worm). The entire apple found itself in the garbage.



Since my brain loves analogies so much, it started drawing a million lines of comparison between this apple-experience, and life in general. The first analogy that came to mind was the obvious one: outside looks don't always reflect the heart, and it's what's inside that really matters anyway.

But the second analogy that came was a little more hidden, and I haven't really been able to stop thinking about it for a few days now. Satan (like the worm) only needs a tiny, almost unnoticeable, entry point to be able to get into my heart and destroy what is there. I may not even notice the entry; I may not even feel the slight decay as he eats away what is most precious to me. This happens to me every so often - Satan weasels his way into my life and I find myself feeling...different...all the sudden. Most times I don't even know what is different until I start filling my heart with more spiritually uplifting things - kicking Satan out in the meantime.

It's unnerving to recognize, at that point, how much Satan had 'eaten' before I noticed him. Thankfully for me, my heart is different than an apple, and with the Saviors help can replenish and strengthen itself over time.

One of my best friends bore her sweet, simple, sincere testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ on her blog yesterday...and the beautiful way she described her life, in the eye of the public, touched me very deeply. The religious things I believe in are so special and sacred to me that I tend to hold those cards close to my heart. I take things too personally, and the thought of someone laughing at or mocking those things I hold most dear is almost unbearable. But reading Katie's testimony shined a little light into a shadowed part of my heart: the part that is eager and excited to share those things that bring me the most happiness in life. I noticed a little worm hiding there in those shadows, silently smirking for all the years he has kept me afraid. With the Savior's help, I hope to replenish and strengthen that decayed spot so that someday it will be as full and healthy as the spot that knows my Savior lives and loves me. That He has made it possible, through the sealing bonds of the temple, for me to be with my family forever.

Because it is these things that bring me the most happiness in life. And, though that worm has made my heart a little too weak to share it openly and energetically, I still feel the truth of it deeply and undeniably. Thanks for being such a great example to me, Katie!