On the Move

Oh. My. Heavens.  This little guy is just about the cutest thing in my life right now.  Actually, I take that back.  He certainly is the cutest thing.  He's been changing like crazy over the past couple of months - this phase of life is one of my favorites... learning so many new things in such a short amount of time.  And Timothy is so easy-going and happy that there is almost none of the stress that usually accompanies a baby.

Sweet Timothy... you are certainly a gift to our family.

And in the past couple of months you have become m.o.b.i.l.e.  I sort of preferred you sitting in the same place for hours on end... but this is cute too.  And, bonus, I get to collect a quarter from any of your siblings that leave out small things on the floor!  I think I'm going to get rich off of this arrangement.

It all started with the roll, of course.  You toyed around with the idea of it for a few weeks - rocking from side to side, but too scared to actually toss your head over your shoulder to give you enough momentum.  I was fine with that. 

 But, eventually, you figured it out.

 And I made you do it over, and over and over again.

Mama, you want me to do it again?!

Okay... let's see.  First, I start with my hands over here... like this.

And then... one arm goes up... woah! This is the fun part!

 And I end up like this.

See?  No big deal.

After you mastered the roll, you started planking.

I think the planking phase had something to do with these hard tile floors you're working with.  Sorry about that...

Of course, from here it was only a matter of time before you found your knees and started rocking back and forth.  And then one day you picked up your hand off the floor and that was the end of it!  Off you went after the desire of your heart.  A marker.

After I realized I'd taken all of those pictures with a fuzzy lens (ocean spray is the worst when you're trying to keep your lenses clean!) we took you back out to get you to crawl again.  This time we grabbed a giant blue Lego.  You thought about it...

... geared up for it...

... and after agonizing over it, ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort and sat back down.

So, we went and found that red marker again.

That got you back up ... you weren't very happy about it, but boy did that little determined face show up!  With every little step I could just hear you cheering yourself on, 'I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...'

Great job, buddy.  You're the cutest little mover around.

Baby in a Basket

I'm not really fond of the pictures taken with babies in baskets.  I get that the idea behind those pictures is to show how super small they are in the beginning of life, but I just can't get behind the craze and stick my own child in one to snap a few photos.  Babies do not belong in baskets, I think, and so putting them in one just for a picture seems like a bit of a stretch.  (This idea of differing opinions, though, is one of my favorite things about photography. If you like babies in baskets, then grab your camera and a basket (and your baby) and go for it!)

That said, when I found this scene one morning I just could. not. help myself from grabbing the camera and shooting away because I found it just so darn cute.  Turns out when the baby is put in a basket by my children for the sake of transporting to the world of make-believe, complete with his own super-hero cape, I can't hold back.

(This picture makes me slightly uncomfortable today because of the fact that Timothy is becoming so strong and mobile... but don't worry, these pictures were taken when he was really just more of a blob and hadn't even figured out the rolling thing yet.)

My kids imaginations have exploded this year (probably has something to do with the fact that we only have room in our little apartment for a handful of toys).  So, that's fun.  Turns out all those toys built for helping stimulate the imagination actually hinder it!  At least, they do in my house... maybe my kids are more lazy than most.

I remember absolutely loving fabric as a kid.  My grandmother had a big box of it sitting in her basement... the possibilities were endless, and cleanup was easy.  I will fold up a whole box of fabric any day over sorting through a thousand Lego and puzzle pieces.

And, isn't that lamp just dreamy?!  I love seeing the style in furnished places. (The place in these pictures has become known as 'Daddy's apartment' because he lives here when he has to work in a city an hour and a half north sometimes.  It's fun to say 'Kids, we're going to Daddy's apartment today, so pack your bags'.  We totally fit in.)

Dear Timothy

My dear Timothy,

Baby number four is a special kind of child.  They have to be, I think.

And what a lucky guy you are to have this spot in our family.

For one thing, your Daddy and I are getting better at recognizing which things to focus on and which things to let go.  You've been getting up in the night a bit lately, but all you need is a cuddle and a song to fall back to sleep.  Experience and time have taught me not to worry so much about the possibility of me needing to cuddle you to sleep in college.  I'm pretty sure your waking up is simply a phase that will last for a short amount of time.  Of course, I don't know that for sure, but I won't worry about it until I see the pattern getting rooted deep in you.  Tonight we'll cuddle.

For another thing, you have a house absolutely full to the brim of noise and laughter and I can see how much you love it.  Not many kids get that these days, you know.  I would probably need both hands to count the number of times a stranger has said in response to you being baby number four, "Wow... you don't see many big families anymore these days."  But you are part of one of the remaining few.  Your smile is never bigger than when you're being circled by little running feet.  I'm happy for you in this.

And the love... oh, the love.  Of course, I feel there is no possible way for me to love you any more than I already do.  But you are lucky because Daddy feels that way, too.  And so does McKenzie.  And Carson.  And you have won Miles over in the last four months to a point where he can't even walk next to you without giving your chubby little foot a squeeze.  "Can I just feel him?" Miles asks several times a day.  Your cries never actually escalate into cries because your fussy noises are met with relief from one of several different sources.  Sometimes I get a little concerned about this... but I see that your temperament doesn't seem entitled at all.  And, should that entitlement creep in someday... well... we'll address it then.  For now, you know you're loved.  And I know your brothers and sister are becoming better people because of it, too.  You certainly do not get any less hands-on love (in fact, I think you probably get more).  It’s just distributed differently.  And how lucky for you that you have that.

The older kids argue over who gets to play with you.  Who gets to get you from your crib.  Who gets to feed you your bottle.  Who gets to sing you to sleep.  Several times a day I say, “It’s my turn.  Why don’t you empty the dishwasher while I sit and cuddle the baby.”  Thankfully your big siblings are wonderful and obedient… in this way I treasure and cherish those moments of holding and rocking even more than I did in earlier years when the cuddling and holding was easier to come by.

Of course, there are trade offs to everything in life and I feel sorry sometimes that I don't get to give you the type of undivided attention that some of your other siblings received.  But, Timothy, please know that I believe that Heavenly Father loves you just as much as he loves me.  And that he must know of the time constraints placed on mothers of multiples and so organizes personalities into families in a carefully crafted way to help offset any negative effects.  And, of course, I hope you will always know how much I love you.

You have added a flavor into this house that I cannot believe we were happy without (and we were).  We laugh more.  We sing more.  We play and goof and encourage more.  We even love more.   

You. are. Perfect.

You smile and laugh.  You play and remind us to be happy with each other.  I’m not sure how you do it, actually.  But you do.   You seem to have an aura of love surrounding you, and anyone who comes into your space cannot help but feel it and want to emulate it, too.

We laugh when you eat your toes.  We laugh when you smack your fists.  We laugh when you roll and we even laugh when you smell terrible.  We laugh at your goopy eyes and we laugh, most heartedly, at your laugh.  We laugh when you splash in the tub.  We laugh when you squeal in the grocery store.  We laugh when you burp and we laugh when your lunch erupts back onto the floor.  We laugh when you drop your carrots and we laugh and clap when you swallow them, too.  We laugh when you clench your blankets up to your face just before falling asleep.  We laugh when you eat your books.  We laugh when you stick your feet into the sand and we laugh when you wear a new outfit.  We laugh.  We laugh.  We laugh.  

And every time we laugh, a small part of my insides grow.  And I wonder, again, perhaps there really is no depth to love.  

You are incredible, sweetheart.  And I -so- love you.
Love,
Mom

Love

This little man is perfect.  Kissable, chunky cheeks.  Free smiles.  Giggles at nothing in particular.  In fact, today I was cutting up some apple slices for the kids' lunch and, after hearing baby giggles from across the island, I looked up and found that he was just sitting in Kenzie's lap, staring at me.  When our eyes locked, it sent him into another round of giggles.  The kids and I laughed back and we all spent the next several seconds laughing together.

To an outsider's eyes, it might have been strange to see such a mundane task such as slicing up apples turn into a giggling fit... but to me, it made perfect sense.  That is who TK is.  That, among other things, is what he has brought into this family.

Laughter.

And so... so... so much love.

I sat in the pew at church on the Sunday that Brian blessed this sweet little baby and listened to his beautiful words.  Even though I can't see heaven, and even though I can't see my Heavenly Father who lives there, I believe He still communicates with us... in fact, I know it.  I've felt that communication several times myself, and I believe that the communication that flows from Heaven down to a worthy priesthood holder in the act of performing a blessing can be one of the clearest signals available to us.  So, with these beliefs, listening to the words of a priesthood blessing has always been a sort of window to the heavens for me.  A chance to hear what the Lord has to say... and what He had to say about Timothy was: Love. 

How much love he has brought into our home.
How much love his parents and siblings have for him (happily, Miles now falls into this category!).
How, as he grows, he will have a gift in being able to share his love for others.
And, perhaps most importantly, to share the love of the Savior to others as well.

And I realized, as I listened to that blessing, that I was smiling and slowly nodding my head... yes, I thought, that's true.  You are so sweet.  So beautiful.  And so loving.  

Timothy, I can't wait to see who you grow up to be. 
Actually, I can wait a little.
Because I have a feeling you won't let me kiss those chubby cheeks forever...

Three Month Face

Life has gotten busier.

I think it has something to do with this adorable face.

I keep thinking that if I was just a little bit more organized, and a little bit more diligent, and if I had a little bit of a nicer of a day planner, that life would magically fall into an easy pace. 

Then I'd be able to exercise, and edit pictures, and blog, and play forty games of Uno, and snuggle TK's warm body, and read a half an hour each night to each kid, and help with homework, and make a delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family, and keep the house meticulously clean for all the home-buyers out there.  And take a nap.

But really, I'm kidding myself.  I think one of the biggest tests in this life is in learning how to balance.  In learning how to choose the necessities and to prioritize the rest.  Blogging is such an important part of my life.  I love to do it... I love to take and edit the pictures... I love to write.  And there are so many things I'd like to write about.  I get frustrated when I can't put as much time into this as I'd like.  I would like to write about everything... record all of my thoughts and feelings about all of my experiences. (Which... while maybe boring for you... would be so fun and fulfilling to me!)

But... then I see this beautiful face and remember that this season of my life is dedicated to him.  Sometimes I can't kiss those cute chubby cheeks and write about it.  So I have to choose.  Turns out I'll take kissing the chubby cuteness every time. 

He's ticklish.  Really.  It's about the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.  I'm pretty sure none of my other babies giggled this young in response to a tickle.  A small grunt of a laugh, maybe.  But not giggling.  It might be my favorite thing about this little guy right now.  Though, picking a favorite is pretty tough.  Boy do we sure love this little guy.

You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby

*It's okay to cry when you start measuring your baby's age in months instead of weeks.  *sniff*

Two Months Old

"So, is he an easy baby?" she asked.
"Yes... oh, he is such a wonderful baby," was my reply.
But, then as I was driving home I started thinking, wait a minute...  I'm thinking the standard definition of an easy baby would include things like sleeps well during the day... long stretches of silence through the night... can happily entertain himself when awake... patient... happy with a pacifier... quick nurser...

We have had easy babies before.  But, Timothy is none of these things.  He's certainly not a hard baby, but he wants to be held and cuddled at all times through the day and his tiny tummy still gets hungry every three hours - even through the night.  So I started wondering, what is it about this sweet baby that makes my initial reaction one of 'yes... oh, he is such a wonderful baby'?  

And, you know, I think it's because my perspective is entirely different this time.  I've finally realized that time steals these days away so, so fast.  With my other kids, time seemed as sluggish as... well... a slug maybe.  But when little TK wakes up for the second time at night for his hour long feeding session I somehow internally know that this will not last forever.  In fact, it won't even last very long. And this strangely gives me permission to enjoy it and to see through the fatigue to his tiny eyes and see that, oh, he is such a wonderful baby.

With beautiful eyelashes.  Seriously.  All three of my boys have super long eyelashes.  (Good thing my sweet McKenzie is beautiful enough that she doesn't need them.) 

He's just recently found his hands and entertains himself by watching them move in front of his face.  Doesn't his little smile in this picture make you giggle?  Hey! he thinks, There's that crazy thing again! 

 *Eye control is over-rated

Even so, Timothy is starting to succumb to social pressures and get his eyes aligned.  When he's relaxed one of his eyes has generally drifted outwards from the other (exotropia, my ophthalmologist husband informs me) and it's been fun to watch him try to bring things into focus by over correcting and ending up looking like this. 

*Son, this is Bacon

Brian has been happy to teach Timothy about the finer things in life

*Son, this is Life

 McKenzie is quite sure Timothy does not really need to pay attention in scripture study because "He really probably still remembers Heavenly Father and Jesus.  So anything we read he would just think, 'I already know this!'  Plus, I think he sees angels in the lights, because you know how people say that God is, like, well, they describe God as being kind of, like, light?" 

*Angels or not, he certainly is fascinated by lights

After seeing this picture, who else is thinking of Harry the mosquito?
Harry's friend: No!  Harry, No!  Don't look at the light!
Harry: I can't help it... It's so beautiful... *ZAP*
I might feel bad for Harry if I didn't dislike mosquitoes so intensely.

*Face-plant time

They call it tummy-time.  And the kids think it's hilarious and cruel at the same time.  "I don't *giggle, giggle* think he likes this, Mom *giggle, giggle*," Carson says as he watches Timothy grunt and struggle to pull his head up.  I agree.  "But, exercise is important... even for babies," I reply.

*Forks and Baby Eyes should never connect

After hearing intense giggling at the dinner table while we were setting the last of the food out, Brian and I looked over to see Timothy sitting on McKenzie's lap, holding a fork in one hand.  It would have been a seriously cute picture, but safety won over cuteness and we quickly removed the safety hazard and explained that babies do not have control over their actions and that forks and eyes should be kept apart.

*Real Babies are way more fun than Baby Dolls

Oh sweet baby... I go back and forth between feeling so happy for you that you have so many people under one roof who love you, and feeling so sorry for you that you have so many people under one roof who love you.

 

*Snuggling Will Never Get Old

All of my other babies have rejected the idea of snuggling like this.  But little Timothy was happy to snuggle on day one.  And he still is.

I am in no hurry to see it end.

Any of it, really.  My eyes feel a bit like they're opening under two pound weights, but I'll take it if it means I get to have this little guy around.  Because, after all, he is such a wonderful baby.