Bright Perspective

It didn't even make the first cut, this picture.  It was marked for deletion seconds after my eye scanned it.  Of course, 99% of this photo is beautiful - glistening water, baby blue sky - but even though the background is breathtaking, the subject is lifeless.  Dark and lacking any detail, the sailboat in the picture disappointed me because I remembered it looking much more beautiful to my eye. 

Maybe it didn't.  Maybe it was always dark, and the miracle that is my mind filled in the missing light and allowed me to see the sails in their milky-white glory even though the signal sent from my eyes was dull. This is probably true.  Cameras tell truths we don't see sometimes.

Delete these 83 master pictures from disk, or just remove them from Lightroom? the prompt asked after I finished my initial run-through of the new photos. The answer is always 'Delete from disk' -- no sense making the decision more than once.  But as my mouse hovered over the button this time, one selected picture stood apart from the rest; a dark sailboat surrounded by beautiful water grabbed my attention and asked me to think about it. I hesitated. Then, in an instant, I clicked 'Cancel', removed the delete mark from the one picture, and tried again.

Delete these 82 master pictures from disk, or just remove them from Lightroom?
Delete from disk.

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My heart felt happy as my eyes opened on June 11th this year.  So many years I've woken to this date with a physical ache in my chest and a nauseous feeling in my stomach.  It's been a heartbreakingly lonely day in years past... a day in which the barriers in my mind that control the pain lose their powers and allow the memories of our little stillborn son - both good and bad - to invade every crevice of my soul and body (my toes hurt, I remember thinking one year).

But this year was different.

Instead of the pain, there was beauty.  Happiness and joy.  A reverent respect for the lessons we've learned from Jess, and a humbling-to-my-knees gratitude for my faith and knowledge in the powerful and eternal miracle that we have been sealed together as a family in the temple of the Lord. This year, Brian and I gathered our children together on a blanket in front of the temple and, for the first time, I opened my journal and read excerpts out loud to them about those life-changing weeks that broke me nine years ago.  And as I read, I was able to discern that, though those weeks did break me for years, so much grander was the fact that they had, indeed, built me most of all.

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If the pain of the past could have been painted in a picture, it might look to my eye like a dark, lifeless sailboat.  Regardless of the beauty surrounding it, it might seem to me unworthy of keeping, and so marked for deletion from my life.  But the master artist, my loving Heavenly Father, saw something in the picture of my pain - all those years ago - that was worth keeping.  Worth crafting, in fact.  He knew that, as the sun moved across the sky and lit the sailboat from the other side, I would have all the elements necessary to create a truly breathtaking scene. 

No matter how many pictures I took of that first sailboat, I never could have made it pop with light. Of course, it wasn't the fault of the sailboat, for it was always white and beautiful.  The sun was simply in the wrong place.  All I could do was wait. 

Wait. 

Wait for earth to turn.

Wait for the darkness to become light.

Wait for the pain to become beautiful.

May Harvest

1 - This thing.  Is this not one of the most beautiful sea creatures ever?  So delicate.  I want to pet it.

2 - That's the underside of a painted turtle statue anchoring down to the ground.  The different colors in the coral and then the sun coming through the water got me.
3 - Fan Leaves
4 - See that storm back in the horizon?  I had to crop the picture to fit it in here, but the dark cloud above it formed a giant bell that looked as if it were just dumping its watery contents into the ocean.   Beautiful.
5 - Tangled trees
6 - Precision and symmetry.
7 - I know, this one is weird... but the way the milk and oil bubbled up in this pancake batter made me smile and take a breath.  You have to admit that those bubbles are beautiful.
8 - Amazing flight
9 - Light in the clouds
10 - Mother's Day Roses

11 - Crevice at the pier.  And turquoise water.

12 - Sunlight in the water
13 - Happy Leaf
14 - My beautiful sister and her boyfriend.  They have fun together, and seeing her happy and in love was a beautiful thing.  (Uh.  I suppose I don't actually know if she classifies herself as in love... but it looked that way to me, so... amiright or amiright, Michelle? *wink, wink*)
15 - Just this.  I get to look at this every day and it's still amazing to me.
16 - Carson spotted these interesting flowers on a walk one day.  There's no scale in the picture, but these things were tiny... about the size of a dime.  I went back to get a better picture another day and they had all fallen to the ground.  Happy to have this one.
17 - Fun, waxy leaves.
18 - Delicate and detailed glass in the temple windows.
19 - The color contrast in this leaf snagged me.
20 - A perfect tree.

21 - Kenz, Brian and I all got to go to the new Ft. Lauderdale temple for the dedication... it was incredible.  In a word: beautiful.

22 - Soft pink, dark pink, white and black... this bird is probably the envy of all the other birds.
23 - Pelican dive - so graceful and perfect.
24 - On a boat out to snorkel.  Look at the perfect-ness of that water!
25 - Everglades.  It's the dry season, so the water level is almost nothing right now.  I still find it beautiful (as long as I plug my nose against the swampy smell).
26 - Pebble rock art
27 - Giant rooty tree
28 - Miles's curls silhouetted against that amazing blue color... sigh.
29 - Tall grasses
30 - Delicate grasses swinging from the tree branches

31 - A pelican... So perfect.

Weddings are fun. Weddings in Hawaii are more fun. Part 3

There have only been a handful of times in my life where I feel small and helpless against the power of nature.  I'm sure if I were a tornado chaser, or a deep sea fisherman I'd have those sorts of feelings all the time.  But I'm not, and as such, I'm not quite used to the feeling.  The final full day we had in Hawaii was a Sunday, and after hitting a morning church (where they actually had the congregation sing Aloha 'Oe [Farewell to Thee] to a family who was moving - it was incredibly touching and left me in tears because it was different and I've come to love different over the past years - but that's another blog post), we spent the rest of the morning awed by the power of the waves on the far side of Shark's Cove. 

Shark's Cove is a beautiful place... a cove surrounded on all sides by jagged rocks and filled with crystal clear water.  We actually went back at sunset on this particular Sunday because I anticipated that the sunset over the cove would be breathtaking.  The clouds were a little too thick for what I was really hoping for, and my lens wasn't wide enough to catch the whole thing, but I'll share a picture from that hour anyway just so you can see what the cove actually looks like. 

So back to morning.  We crawled and climbed and jumped along those rocks until we reached the far outer rim.  Most of us were wearing tennis shoes (we had planned to go hiking instead, but those plans fell through at the last minute), so we were trying to avoid walking through the water, but after Brian's little brother Dave jumped and slipped into the water anyway, I ended up taking off my tennis shoes and walking through the water the rest of the way (it was safer to already be in the water than to fall in the water with my camera, I figured).  Climbing up onto the far jagged rocks and seeing the power of the water on the other side was incredible. 

I kept my camera out and snapped shot after shot after shot to try to capture the magnificence of it, but each picture fell embarrassingly flat.  It took my breath away and we all commented on the sure death that would await any of us were we to slip and fall into the currents below. 

Too soon it was time for us to head back home and meet the rest of the family for our afternoon excursion to Pearl Harbor.

We toured the USS Missouri where the Empire of Japan formally surrendered, thus ending World War II.  Our tour guide was knowledgeable and passionate and full of interesting facts that helped bring that day back in 1945 to life.  Most impressive to me, however, was the sheer power of that battleship. 

Do you see those guns?!  They can shoot 2700 lbs of shells TWENTY miles!  Maybe that's not so impressive for people who know about war ships... but to me, it's incredible. 

As I mentioned, we stopped back at Shark's Cove to watch the sunset that night and I was sorry to see the thick clouds blocking most of the color.  But even so, there's something tranquilizing about sunsets, don't you think?

That night we, once again, slept hard.

The following morning we didn't have much time to play as our flight left mid-morning.  So Brian and I spent the rest of our hours there driving the 'long way' to the airport, around the coast and stopped whenever we felt like it.  We spent a half an hour or so looking for the house I lived in all those years ago and I was absolutely delighted to find the bench in our backyard that my wonderful roommate, Becky, and I shared countless half-gallons of ice cream on.  All the talks we had - all the calories we ingested - all the laughter and memories we shared on that bench came back to me and I felt lucky, once again, to have been blessed with such terrific friends all the way through my life. 

It gave me hope that there will be more friends waiting for me in Vegas, too.   

But if not, Brian and I will just have to head to Hawaii every year to make up for it.  

Weddings are fun. Weddings in Hawaii are more fun. Part 2

It was one of those mornings where you stare at the sky and hold your breath for the beauty of it.  I wasn't sure if I wanted the gradient clouds to open their curtains and pour down their rain from the sky, or if I wanted them to stay. right. there, looking like that, breathtaking and beautiful, all day long.  Brian and I awoke early (I love it when the time change works in your favor that way) and drove over to the temple to try to get a good picture of it for Heidi and Adam.  In walking the grounds, we found an old cemetery.  Even though I believe that the spirits of those people buried in that hill are not really residing in that hill, I still can't help but feel happy for them that their bodies have such a nice and happy place to rest. 

After tromping around and admiring the weather-worn headstones, we drove back to the house to help the bride get ready for her big day.

It was interesting how watching Heidi get ready for her wedding stirred up so many memories of my own.  One of my cleanest memories is of applying my own mascara on my wedding day.  Which is a strange thing to remember because of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times before and since that I have done that exact same thing.  You would think that Getting Into My Wedding Dress would be a little more of a standout memory because, you know, that's kind of unique thing.  But, nope.  In a way, it does make sense, though.  Eyes are our windows to the soul, right?  So being close to a mirror, staring into my own eyes on my wedding day stood out as a very special thing.  My soul was happy - I knew that because I could feel it - and during those few seconds of applying mascara, I was able to actually see it, too.

Anyway, originally, Heidi had asked me to take the wedding pictures as well as the engagement photos, but I was relieved to find out that her co-workers chipped in and bought her one hour with a professional right after the ceremony.   Engagement photos are one thing because it's possible to do a re-shoot if they don't turn out right.  Wedding pictures, however... you have one chance... I was happy to stay in the shadows and take behind-the-scenes pictures.  It left me free to explore the details and not stress about getting that One Shot that will be framed in their home.

Details like how sweet it was to watch him play with the buttons on the back of her dress...

And hold her shoes through the sand...

We spent about 30 minutes around the temple grounds.

And then another 30 minutes down on the beach.

You know how sometimes in a quiet moment, like just as you're falling asleep or waking up, you realize that one of your recent memories is swelling inside you and taking up more space in your heart and mind than it should?  Following Heidi and Adam around that afternoon, watching them interact with each other and the photographer is one of those memories for me.  It took me a couple of days to figure out why it touched me so much, but I think it's for two reasons.  1) It was inspiring for me to see a professional photographer at work, and 2) I realized that afternoon just how much I love Heidi.  And Adam, too.  And how happy I am to see them so happy together.  I think I won't forget the way I felt that day.

After pictures, we went to the wedding luncheon.  And then, in a flash, Heidi and Adam waved goodbye and left the rest of us to enjoy our last day and a half on the island without them.

We wasted no time and (after changing out of our Attend The Wedding clothes) drove straight to the Polynesian Cultural Center where we sat at the Island Buffet and talked and laughed and ate together.  I really lucked-out with my in-laws.  Over the years they've each woven their way into my heart and I love them. 

We went straight from the buffet to a show that included big men throwing fire.  Photography was not allowed, so you'll have to take my word for it.

That night we all slept well. Day 2 of our trip was finished... Heidi and Adam were married... and we had one day left to enjoy the island before returning home to kiss our kids.

Weddings are fun. Weddings in Hawaii are more fun. Part 1

I think it might be weird how much I love that these two just got married.  Brian's sister, Heidi, and her boyfriend-at-the-time, Adam, came to stay with us for a few days during Christmas... and we just fell in love with them.  With him, with her and him, with him and her... there was a lot of happiness and celebration when they ended up engaged.

We don't have much experience with in-laws.  Of course, I have all of Brian's family, and Brian has all of my family, but 'being' the new in-law to the family feels much different than 'accepting' a new in-law to the family.  So, when we called Brian's mom on Mother's day, and Adam was there with Heidi, it was happiness all over again to realize that he will always be there.  He's one of us now.  An uncle to my kids, a brother-in-law to Brian and me, and I couldn't be happier about that. 

I also couldn't be happier about their decision to get married in Hawaii, and to invite us.  I was shocked that the beauty of the Hawaiian ocean was so much grander than the beauty of my own backyard ocean (though, let's be honest... this backyard ocean is awesomely grand, too).  I guess I had forgotten that all oceans are not created equally.  The depth, the colors, the power... they're different out there.  I mean, I don't even have to TRY to get beautiful pictures... they're just sitting there in all their beauty, waiting for me to snap the shutter and take them home.  I mean, these are with my phone guys!

The next one isn't my favorite picture in and of itself, but do you see that color!!!  You know which part I'm talking about... oh my heavens.  Favorite, favorite, favorite.

In addition to Getting Awesome Pictures of Awesome Scenery, we crammed a ton of stuff into the three short days we walked the Hawaiian land.  Check out what we did in just the first day:

Morning Walk

Brian and I kept saying 'Remember those days before we had children?'  Because we were remembering those days before we had children.  Our life sure was simpler... but much less interesting and full.  I loved walking alone with Brian without thinking about the kids in the back of my mind, but I was sure glad that they were there in the back of my mind if I wanted to think about them.  It made me feel lucky.  Anyway - that's not seaweed up there... it's some kind of coral.  Incredibly interesting and teeming with life.  

  Goat Island

 
 Goat island is my favorite place on Oahu.  I'm not sure if it's because I have such great memories of it (Becky...) or if it's because it truly is an amazing place.  I'm pretty sure it's both.  Looking at the above picture, you can see the main island of Oahu in the distance, and the only way to get onto Goat island is to walk through all that ocean water on a coral barrier.  It is amazingly fun because the ocean wraps around one side of the island and sends waves at you from the right, and wraps around the other side of the island and sends waves at you from the left, so as you walk you get bombarded by waves from both sides.  Which, on a calm day, is very fun.  (On a choppy day it can be scary, though... especially at high tide.)

This picture shows a bunch from our group just heading back to the main island.  They haven't reached the deeper part yet which, at mid-tide, reached our chests with the waves.  Also, the coral is sharp... so since Adam's brother-in-law didn't have footwear, Adam graciously piggy-backed him the whole way.  I do enjoy that coral/sandy beach you see up in that first picture of the island, but my favorite part is the rocky backside where there are usually all kinds of sea life swimming in little pools (though, we didn't see much this time).  Those first two pictures at the top of this post (after the ones of Heidi and Adam, of course) were taken looking out over the backside of the island.

Skydiving

We did.

You know, there's nothing like jumping out of a plane and free-falling for 60 seconds to get the pre-wedding jitters out.  (For Heidi and Adam, of course.  I, personally, didn't have any pre-wedding jitters to get out.)

What an awesome experience!  I'd done it before (Becky... how I missed you during this trip!) when I lived out there for a spring semester at BYU-Hawaii, but this time was different.  The excitement and atmosphere and nervousness and craziness were way better the first time I did it... the actual fall was better the second time (I think it's because the first time we chose to fall for 20 seconds, and this second time we did the 60 second version)... but the breathtaking scenery when you're floating through the silent sky after pulling the parachute was equally captivating and awe-some in the true sense of the word.  If only they had allowed me to bring my phone to get some pictures of it.  It was fun to share it with Brian this time, too.

Engagement Shoot

Heidi got brave and asked me to take her engagement photos.  I was actually quite nervous because, not a professional, but then I decided to just not be nervous and do the best I could.  I know there is a learning curve with everything and, since I'd never actually taken pictures of a couple before, I knew that I wouldn't love everything that came out of my camera... plus, I knew that if they didn't really like the way they turned out, they could always hire a professional to get some couple shots of them at a later date.  I ended up being totally right that I wouldn't love everything that came out of my camera, but I learned so, so much and ended up being so happy that Heidi had asked me and that I had said yes.

Pre-Wedding BBQ

Somehow I managed to go through the entire evening without taking a single picture of the barbeque that Heidi and Adam threw for the family.  It may have had something to do with the fact that I had spent the whole previous hour and a half doing nothing but taking pictures (and really thinking about taking pictures).  My picture brain was probably just as tired as the rest of me and went to sleep for the evening.  It was a lovely barbeque, though.  It was fun to get to know Adam's family a little bit more and feel this strange, distant connection to these people that I may just never see again, but that are, in a small way, family now, too.  One of Adam's brothers and I even talked about this strange connection that night.  "So, like, do we ever really see each other ever again?" he asked.  "Good question..." I replied.  "I guess, maybe, like, for baby blessings?"
"And funerals?"

This is a bit stressful for me because I do not remember details very well... and names are details. So, someday - far in the future - I'll run into these people again and remember that we spent a couple of days together in Hawaii years ago, but that might be the extent of my memory.

Well.  Hopefully they'll feel the same way about me...

We went to bed exhausted that night and hoped for a good nights rest.  Because the next day: wedding.

Holidays are Happening

It's been interesting to see how all the days kind of feel the same around here.  The lack of seasons has tricked me into believing that the months really aren't ticking along at all.  I mean, I see the pages flip through the calendar, and I believe what they tell me, but there are times where I feel like we're just kind of living in a sort of Groundhog's Day existence (though, if I could handpick a scene in which I'd want to have that experience, this would be the one).

For example: when we first got our new van, I was happy to see that it had a thermometer built in, but after driving it along for about a ten days, I determined that it must be broken because every single time I looked at it, it said 80*.  Then one day, it read 79* and I realized that the thermometer wasn't broken at all... we're just living in Florida.  (It was winter then... hence the frigid temperatures.  It's back up into the 90's now.)

This fact has made holidays rather stressful for the simple reason that I don't anticipate them.  At all.  I don't think about them, plan for them, remember them, feel their demands approaching... which, in the beginning, created more than a handful of stressful last-minute pow-wows with myself to pull them off.  (Remember how Brian and I completely forgot about our anniversary this year?)  As the year went on, I decided to just relax and not let the stress get to me.  If things weren't planned, well then life would go on and my children would not remember the year that the leprechauns didn't invade the house.

So, Mother's Day was a happy holiday because I didn't disappoint any children by not seeing it coming.   (Though, I may have disappointed my own mother and mother-in-law by not seeing it coming... I do love you.)

Brian went way above and beyond this year.  He's generally amazing at showing his appreciation for me on a sort of random and unscheduled day basis that I would imagine Mother's Day would be hard for him to make even more special.  But he always manages it and seems to delight in showering me in love and gifts, and who am I to stop his delight?  Of course, my favorite gifts were the cards.  McKenzie wrote "I know that my mom loves me because she never stays mad at me for long."  Carson wrote "I know my mom is very smart because she knows that 100+100=200."  And Miles wrote "I love her because she sometimes do's my chores."  So, there you have it.

Easter, on the other hand, was a bit of a mad scramble as I remembered the holiday less than 24 hours before its dawn.  I actually do not like Easter at all - at all, at all - because I haven't found a good way to celebrate it yet.  I'm frustrated that we spend so much time preparing for and talking about and getting into the spirit of Christmas, yet Easter seems to be all about candy.  I would argue that the resurrection of Christ is the most important event in history (but granted, it couldn't have come to pass without the birth of Christ, so that is important as well), yet it seems that the holiday created to celebrate Him and this event is more overshadowed by the Easter Bunny than Christmas is by Santa Clause.  Sigh.  Anyway, I realize that, being the mom, I have the power to change this about my own little family, but I just haven't put the work into it yet... and so for the past three years as Easter comes around, I've felt much more resentfulness than sacredness.  Which is a shame.  Next year... next year.  Any ideas?

Anyway, I tried to not be too big of a Scrooge... we had a great time dying Easter eggs.  And finding them, too.

After you look at the adorableness of this next picture, you really should take a minute to look in the shadows in the far right of the photo.  It will be worth it. 

April Fools Day was one of those days that I didn't even remember until halfway through the morning when I read an article about it online.  Thankfully a quick Google search later reminded me that I had not, indeed, had the children brush their teeth that morning yet, and that a drop of blue food coloring underneath their toothpaste would get the rest of the day started off right.

Oh how they laughed!

An hour or so later, I happened to spot a green plastic cup on top of a doorway.  Hearing giggles and whispers behind the door let me know that the kids were anxiously waiting for me to come through that door to 'see what would happen'.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that they had graciously put warm water into the cup, so that when it fell onto my head there was no cold shock.  McKenzie laughed so hard that tears poured out of her eyes.  Oh how I love it when she laughs like that.

As a teenager, I used to try to get tears to squeeze out of my eyes from laughing, but it never happened.  I guess my tear ducts just don't get tickled by laughter like other people's do.  McKenzie's friends will be so jealous. 

Anyway, I really do love holidays and the excuse that they give us to celebrate.  But I think that this year has taught me to treat Life as a celebration. Some of the holidays have slipped through my fingers this year, but I've learned that stepping down a little from the preparations of the planned holidays isn't such a bad thing.  It allows me to magnify those day-to-day celebrations instead.  Dancing through lunch, singing to soundtracks, playing Uno, having tickle wars, racing the kids in Mario Kart... I have a feeling these are the celebrations we'll remember as the most beautiful, and most meaningful anyway. 

Parallel Parking

It all started with a sign that read: No Parking in Front of Gate.  This wasn't terrible news, though it did take away two or three of the coveted parking spaces along one of the quiet roads perpendicular to our apartment building. 

I say 'quiet' but I'm guessing that my definition of a quiet road is somewhat different than the normal definition, so perhaps I should, instead, say 'quiet-ish'. 

By contrast, the road that runs right in front of our apartment complex is awfully busy.  And when I say 'busy', I mean it's the only main road that runs north on this barrier island.  It has three lanes of one-way traffic, no right or left turning lanes, no shoulders, is heavily congested and moving fast.  It's rather a mess, in my opinion.  And so given the choice to parallel park along this crazy road or along one of the perpendicular quiet(ish) roads is an option that I was happy to discover I had.  And the quiet roads will win every time.  Even if I have to walk an extra block because of it.

So, the real trouble came a few weeks after that initial sign when the rest of the 'No Parking' signs showed up.  Soon after that, the trucks came.  And the tractors.  Then the big cranes and the dump trucks and the dirt sifters and the jackhammers.  They blocked off the entire right hand side of that wonderful parking road with big, plastic barriers filled with sand - now it is a highly inconvenient one-way, and parking there is absolutely illegal and impossible. They're building a new building across the street from us. 

And another one down the street that, in addition to swallowing up the other quiet(ish) roads, has increased the traffic and craziness of the main road as well... leaving us the only option of parking in madness.

Now, I've gotten pretty good at parallel parking this year and can generally slide the little car into some pretty tight spots.  But parallel parking along a quiet(ish) road doesn't feel like the same thing as parallel parking on a crazy road.  In fact, I think they should call it something else entirely - like 'anxiety parking', or maybe 'death parking'.

Aside from the sheer number of cars on this mad road, lets take a moment for me to give you a better idea about what the drivers, in general, are like around here.  

Example #1 - One night I mentioned to a new friend in the ward my observations about how crazy Miami drivers are.  "Oh yeah," he said, tossing his hand into the air like that was last years news.  "I always say that in America, teens are taught how to drive with their hands on the wheel in the 10 and 2 position, but in Miami they're taught how to drive with their hands in the 12 and Honk position."  We all threw our heads back and laughed because, truth.

Example #2 - The day after Christmas, Brian and I went to the mall to trade in some shoes (first mistake, don't go to the mall on the day after Christmas) and had to drive around the parking lot for 20 full minutes before finally finding a place to park.  I passed those 20 minutes counting the number of horn honks I heard. After 20 minutes I had counted 36 honks.  In one parking lot.  That's almost one every 30 seconds.  It's amazing really. 

Example #3 - Red lights.  Or, more specifically, red lights that have just turned green.  You have less than one second to get your wheels moving if you don't want to be honked at.  I've seriously been honked at (a handful of times) in the time it took me to lift my foot from the brake and onto the gas pedal, after watching the light turn green.  And, if you're driving a manual transmission, you better not even think about putting your car in neutral if you're in the front of the line, because you'll have three cars honking at you if you take the time to put your car in gear after the light turns green.  

Example #4 - Bumper to bumper traffic.  If you let more than 5 feet of road get between you and the stopped car in front of you?  HONK, HOOOONK!  Get a move on because, you know, moving those 5 feet will really help the cars behind you get wherever they're going faster. 

Examples #5 - Phantom honkers.  Much of the time I can't even tell who is honking from where.  The seventh car in line is just as likely as the second car to blast his horn if the car in first is taking too long to move through the intersection.  If someone behind you doesn't like that you need to turn left and consequently block their lane of traffic to do so, you will hear about it, and so will everyone around you... but since it's perfectly legal, it's not easy to always find the source. 

Example #6 - Need to change lanes?  If it's heavy traffic, you have a 5% chance of having a car actually let you in, and a 70% chance of being honked at as you force your way over.

All this to say: people don't really like it when you inconvenience them around here, and they're certainly not afraid to let you know about it. 

So parallel parking in the midst of these people on that road (which includes stopping in the middle of the lane and then r.e.v.e.r.s.i.n.g (!)) is a little ... nerve-wracking.  Thankfully I don't really drive the car all that much because I drive the van, but when I do I always feel a little twinge of hope that there will be a space big enough for me to just drive right into instead of having to *gulp* stop, and *double gulp* reverse. 

Well, one day recently ago I had no such luck.  Not only was the only available spot one that I would absolutely have to reverse into, it was one that was going to be a prettytightsqueeze.  I knew I had one shot.  Thankfully, people are actually quite patient for one (quick) try... but if you have to pull out and realign yourself?  Oh boy.  I feel bad for the people who I've watched try to parallel park with the guy behind them pushing on his horn without ceasing.  Like that's going to help. 

I put my blinker on and applied my brake three cars before the empty space to give the car behind me enough time to start slowing down or to change lanes if he wanted (which, apparently, was not the right choice because I got honked at right away).  After I was stopped in position I quickly put on my reverse lights in addition to my blinker to alert the fast-moving cars behind me of my intentions.  They got the message and I watched the cars form what reminded me of a blood clot... stopped, clogged, and slowly seeping into the other lane.  It was time for my one shot.  Talk about performance anxiety.

You guys.

You should have seen me.  I'm pretty sure it looked like one of those movies where the car just snaps into place like a rubber band.  Smooth, fast, I've-done-this-a-million-times like. I felt pret.t.y. awesome.  The spot fit my car like a slightly too big rubber glove... a little wiggle room, but nice and comfy.  18 inches to spare at the rear, 18 inches to spare at the head.

And no more honking.

Really, it was a thing of beauty... and then the next time I ran the car up onto the sidewalk and scared two pedestrians nearly to death.  But we won't talk about that one...