I am, I am, I am the Luckiest

I know Valentines Day is over...but I've been thinking a lot about Brian over the past week or so, and I have fallen in love with him all over again. When we first heard the lyrics to the Ben Folds song referred to in the title of this post, it said it all! I can't believe it's been almost 6 years since we deemed that song 'ours', but I'm so glad to say that I still feel like "I am the luckiest" girl in the whole world.

50 Reasons why I love Brian
1. For Valentines Day, he got me a ham. (If you've ever watched the second season of The Office, you will be able to appreciate the hilarity of this gift! If you haven't seen it...you should.)
2. He does a great deal of the dishes without complaining
3. He hates contention and avoids it at all costs
4. He doesn't stress easily
5. He's always the first to apologize over something
6. He finds intense joy in watching sports
7. He doesn't care about what other people think of him
8. He doesn't bother with insignificant details. (We have these little decorative block letters that spell HOME...and it's not infrequently that Brian will put them away spelling HEMO)
9. He can stop the smoke alarm from blaring without using a chair to stand on.
10. He always finds a better way to do something
11. He hates traffic with a passion
12. He loves his mom
13. He's very independent
14. He furrows his eyebrows whenever he's studying
15. He can't sit in a rocking chair without rocking
16. He wakes up in the middle of the night with the kids
17. He wakes up in the morning with the kids if his schedule allows
18. He loves meat
19. He loves big breakfasts
20. It's easy to make him happy
21. When he's really happy, he bounces when he walks
22. He's quick to smile
23. He can't wear his wedding ring on his left ring finger because those fingers are slightly 'webbed'
24. The only song lyrics he ever remembers are Christmas songs...so he sings those frequently...all year.
25. Whenever I turn the TV on, it's always on ESPN. Always
26. He keeps his jeans, shorts, pajama pants, gym shorts and sweaters all in the same spot - no organization...
27. He likes really deep massages
28. The 9 year old kids in our neighborhood come over to see if Brian can 'play'
29. His shirts are always just slightly too short
30. After 4 years, he has finally learned how to pull McKenzie's hair in a ponytail
31. He remembers everything he ever reads or hears
32. He loves to watch Jeopardy
33. He never believes anything without thinking about it first
34. He never leaves the toilet seat up
35. He doesn't mind eating leftovers
36. He can make great gravy...or anything else that has to do with spices
37. He'll watch American Idol with me
38. He loves to travel
39. He can (and does) eat everything and never gains a pound
40. He can't grow much of a beard
41. He never had a girlfriend before me
42. It doesn't bother him to wear socks with holes in them
43. He doesn't care what he wears, as long as it's clean
44. He can't go to bed without a little snack (usually chocolate, ice cream, or popcorn)
45. He is naturally coordinated
46. He loves the mountains
47. He wins every game we ever play, but he never rubs it in
48. He's great with teenagers
49. He doesn't mind being in pain
50. He loves me and the kids unconditionally and undeniably

I love you, Brian!

Happy Birthday, McKenzie!

Can you believe it? Four years ago, our little girl changed many lives by coming into this world. She made Brian and I parents, she made our parents grandparents, she made our brothers and sisters uncles and aunts.... and there, at the beginning of her life, I saw that my life, too, was just starting.

Have you ever been so proud of someone that tears sting your eyes? I saw it happen many times in my own mother's eyes as I was growing up...but I never understood it until I had my own daughter. I'm proud to tears over many, seemingly insignificant, events in her life: her first word (no), her first sentence (Hi more bug!), her first step, potty training breakthroughs, taking such good care of her little brother, her preschool Christmas program, writing her name, writing 'mom' and 'dad', knowing simple answers in primary... How can I even describe the proud feelings that swell in my heart as I watch her learn something new... Nothing makes me laugh harder than her silly words! Nothing is more precious than a spontaneous, sincere hug from her. McKenzie is quick, smart, stubborn, sweet, manipulative, caring and loving. I was so happy to celebrate the four wonderful years we've had so far!

We generally don't have much sugar cereal laying around the house, but when asked what she wanted for breakfast on her birthday, she immediately responded, "Special Cereal!" So, the day started with 'special' cereal and opening her presents from Grandma, which included a cute little dress that was immediately tried on for good that day.

Next, she went to preschool. She was the 'line leader' and got other special treatments all day. Brian and I went for snack-time and brought some sugary rice-krispy treats for the class to enjoy. It was so fun to meet McKenzie's 'best buddy' JulieAnne. They were inseparable while we were there! I had never seen her like that before - how fun! (Another weird 'proud mommy tears' moment!)

We then met a bunch of her friends at the 'swings park' to have some pizza and more rice-krispy treats. She always has so much fun at the park. Especially if there are swings! :)

When we returned home, we opened a couple more presents from Nana and Poppy and aunt Michelle. Poor little Carson was more than ready for his nap by this time, so Brian stayed home with him while I took McKenzie to Toys 'R' Us to spend the $10.00 she received from her Great-Grandma Clara and Great-Grandpa Arvid. She bought a spongy baseball bat & ball, and a huge, pink bouncy ball - she even had enough change left over to ride the little coin-op car in the front of the store.

When we returned home, we ate broccoli soup for dinner (her request...) and I brought out the flamingo cake (another request). What do you think!? I didn't have quite enough time to get a great picture (once you promise cake to kids, you light the short fuse to the ticking time bomb of patience) but this will have to do. :) McKenzie's favorite animal is the flamingo (highly due to it's pink color) and she was very excited to see the flamingo cake! Her aunt Michelle sent her a stuffed flamingo - it was one of the favorite presents of the day!

Following the cake, she opened the rest of her presents and played with them until bedtime - at which time McKenzie went to sleep as a very tired, happy four-year old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MCKENZIE!

To snow, or not to snow....

~
It's true that I miss the snow during winter-time. But I'm beginning to see that there is a good side to having mild winters. So far this year, there have only been a handful of days where I wouldn't venture outside because of the cold temperatures - and that has left a lot of days where we can throw on a jacket and play in the open air!


Santa left McKenzie a bike for Christmas this year. (One that was originally blue - notice the fantastic paint job done by yours truly!) She was so excited, and started to pick it up as quickly as a timid, careful little girl could. But after a few nasty falls off the 'cliff' (the curb), she was terrified to go faster than a snail...literally. I kept thinking she'd get over it, but after a couple of weeks, it was still the same. So I finally got my own bike out, strapped on my helmet and invited McKenzie to go bike riding with me. After watching me turn circles in the parking lot for a few minutes, her courage started to return and we went from snail crawling to pedaling faster and faster until she felt confident enough to even turn her handle bars while moving (that was a big issue)! I was so proud of her!

Now you can be proud of her, too. :)

~

Scattered Thoughts

I just realized something new about myself: I don't handle 'the unknown' very well. (My family is, at this point, raising their eyebrows in surprise thinking, "You didn't know this before?") I've always known that I don't handle change well...I tend to plant deep roots around every single situation in my life, and I feel the pain when those roots must be cut in order for something to shift. But just recently, I've noticed that I don't even like the anticipation of change...which is what I mean by 'the unknown.' I like things to be clear, organized and patterned...so I begin to stress when I see 'change' coming up over the horizon, and I get more stressed when I can't bring this change into focus...when I don't know what he will look like, what he will feel like, and most importantly what he will do to my family.

This epiphany came to me while I was driving home from a friends house late last Friday night. McKenzie was asleep in the backseat, and Carson was contently chewing away at his favorite stuffed animal, Jasper. For no good reason, I burst into tears and started thinking about what a horrible day it had been. But when I tried to nail down what was so horrible about it, I couldn't find much at all. My kids had been a little bit fussier than normal, but it was really no big deal. The only real downer of the whole day was that I only saw Brian for a few minutes during his transition from school to the church for a youth activity.

All the sudden, I saw a huge correlation between my horrible days, and the days when I know Brian will be gone until late into the night.
"Why?" I thought to myself.
I think I'm so terrified of next year, when Brian will be gone late into the night many times a week, that I panic when he has to do it now. For some reason, I feel like I have to save my patience and energy for next year. Consequently, I'm very unwilling to use it now - making days like last Friday impossible to be happy through. I don't know what to expect for next year...but the anticipation of the change that it might bring paralyzes me, and I can't function.

I have no solution at this point - - -
I understand that I shouldn't view my patience as something that has a set amount...that once it's gone I will never have more. I should, instead, think of it as something that will grow stronger with practice; and use these patience requiring opportunities now to build a strong foundation so that when I need it in large quantities next year, it will be easier to call upon.

I do fear, however, that this is much easier said than done - - -

Buying on a Whim can Sometimes be GREAT!! (Part 2)

This has turned slightly overwhelming to me: recapturing my vacation to Hawaii. So far, I've only gotten past the first sunrise - and we all know that was a slightly long post. So I'm trying to figure out what is most meaningful to me, and what will be most entertaining for you...but my filter of 'entertaining for others' is slightly off...I seem to think everything I find entertaining will be entertaining to everyone else as well. Oh dear. I guess I have the comfort in knowing that if you start to get bored, you can always skip ahead or stop reading altogether. :)

Sunsets
If there is anything more beautiful in Hawaii than the sunrises, it would have to be the sunsets. It's a different kind of beautiful, however, because the atmosphere is completely different. The sunrise comes at the end of tranquility - putting the calm night to bed. The sunset commands tranquility itself, but is flanked on either side by the excitement of the evening.

And a sunset wouldn't be much of a sunset to me without clouds. Without clouds, the setting sun rays would speed away into space with nothing to deter their path. It is the cloud that gives the sky it's fiery color - it is the cloud that captures my attention.

My New Favorite Animal
What a funny creature the crab is! This little guy was my companion for an hour and a half the second morning. We watched the sun come up together and, for a long while, ours were the only two footprints in the sand (...well...I suppose his were more like 'clawprints'...)! This crab strengthens my belief that God must have a sense of humor. I watched him settle down in a footprint, only to be washed up shore by the next large wave. I watched him hunker down when a runner would come by - he'd sit flat on the sand, pull his eyes down, and remain completely still until the runner was past. Then his eyes would pop back up and he'd return to play in the surf. I watched him 'be intimidating' when he was spotted by three ladies taking a morning stroll - when he knew he was spotted, he jumped up from his 'hunkered down' position, stood on the very tips of his legs and raised his body off the ground as far as he could. He jumped back and forth from one side to the other until the ladies had had enough fun and moved on. He watched them go and finally relaxed his stance with a triumphant little dance (I can't think of any words to describe it) and I laughed out loud.

The surfers and bodyboarders were out by this point, so I turned my attention to them. There were many times I laughed out loud as someone would take an exceptionally hard spill (that's my kind of humor - I could sit and watch America's Funniest Home Videos all day long!).
I zoned into my own little world, sitting there alone on the shoreline, laughing at crabs and people, slightly rocking to the song in my head (which happened to be "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid...), and running my fingers through the sand, when a small, Asian lady came up to me and said with a smile, "You enjoying dis?" I turned to look at her and she continued, "You enjoy de ocean?"
"Oh. I love the ocean." I said back
"I been up dere chanting." She pointed up the shore to a small yoga-looking mat. "You should try." She handed me a business card and said, "Chanting a good way to connect wid universe. It good for you." She started to back away to her mat.
"Oh, um. Thank you." I said
"Chanting will help you."
As she walked away, I thought about the gospel of Jesus Christ. "Naw," I thought, "I have a better way to connect with the universe." What better connection is there than knowing that God made all of this for me? That He loves me and wants me to have everything He has? I already feel a strong connection with this world because my own Father created it. I wish I would have been brave enough to speak my thoughts while she was standing next to me........maybe next time.

Mountains

While my favorite things were the ocean, the sun, and the clouds, Brian's favorite things were the mountains. And what an impressive sight they were!!! From sea level to 3700 feet in less than 5 miles at some points. And they were so GREEN! Usually steep cliffs are not hospitable to vegetation - but somehow, these plants hung on! Spectacular.



Our One Full Day
We rented a car the last day we were there and drove up to the North Shore to visit my old stomping grounds. It was SO FUN to retrace my steps with my husband by my side. We visited the Laie Temple,
hiked out to Goat Island,
had some shrimp at a shrimp shack,
and finally topped it all off with some shave ice at Matsumotos! What a fun, fun day! It was especially great until we couldn't really find any showers to shower off in before we caught our 9:30 plane that night to come back to the real world. So, we had to travel with salt and sand in our hair and...other places.

I seriously, SERIOUSLY would have missed out on one of the best trips ever if I hadn't let my husband buy my ticket on a whim. What a beautiful, wonderful world we live in. :)

DUKE wants to keep us!

The results are in - and it looks like we will be sticking around here for Brian's 3 years of Ophthalmology residency! Am I excited? Absolutely!

In all fairness, it wasn't our top choice...or even our second. We had ranked Duke 3rd behind Iowa and Michigan - but now that we've found out, I can honestly say that if I had it to do all over again, I would have ranked Duke at least number 2...and maybe even number 1. (Of course, I'm focusing on all the wonderful things about Durham, and all the horrible things about Iowa!) I've been surprised at how excited I am, actually. I thought I was ready for a change, but I really do love it here in Durham. I have loved it from the first day we moved here - literally. There are no sad feelings at all - there are no regrets, what ifs or (best of all) goodbyes.

I love Duke's campus;
I love the parks;





I love the trees lining the freeway;
I love berry picking;


I love the duck pond;
I love the popcorn trees;





I love that Eno Valley State Park is so close;






I love that we're close to the beach;



I love that we're close to the mountains;





But the very best thing of all - I love my wonderful friends! I wish I had pictures of everyone who has made my life here fabulous...but I do have pictures of a lot of you. :)

Buying on a Whim can Sometimes be GREAT!!

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Brian had his final interview this last week in Hawaii - and after some mild persuasion (from a pushy husband and some pushy friends :)), and some generous Christmas cash, I finally decided to splurge on a ticket for myself and go with him. It's funny that I needed persuasion - considering how much I love the beach - and considering how much I've wanted to go back and visit the place that I lived almost 6 years ago on that beautiful Hawaiian shore. I mean, come on, it's Hawaii! How could I have even considered not going?! How fun it was to walk on the beach and soak in the sun...to find all those memories and share them with Brian...to see the landscape and smell the air! What was I thinking?

I was thinking about money. A noble thought, indeed - I firmly believe we should live within our means - however, on the 13 hour flight to Hawaii, I read a book about a girl nobody liked because she was always so concerned about saving money. Hmmmm..... that sounded vaguely familiar..... I DO worry a lot about money. Maybe not quite as much as the girl in the book - but maybe too much, still. So, I think another new years resolution for me will be to stop fretting so much about finances. Not to spend more, per se - but to stop worrying about those uncontrollable expenses, and to treat myself every once in a while with a trip to Hawaii! (okay, maybe a nice dinner is more realistic....)

Anyway - I'm dying to share my vacation with you...so, here we go!

Arrival
After our long 17 hour travel day, we both arrived in Hawaii. We were, unfortunately, on different planes - due to the fact that I had bought my ticket about a month later than Brian bought his. But it was surprisingly relaxing to fly on a spacious plane with many extra seats to put my feet up on and no one interrupting my book-reading, journal writing splurge. As we started our descent into Honolulu, I glanced out the window and my heart leaped up into my throat in excitement. I watched for 30 minutes out that window with a big smile plastered on my face until we finally touched down on the runway. "Hawaii! I LOVE this place!" I remembered.

Brian and I rode the shoulder-to-shoulder crowded bus for an hour (with all of our luggage) to our hotel. The Marriott! Our friend, Natalie, has a sister who works for the Marriott Hotel, so she can get killer deals on their rooms - we had reserved a $380.00 per night room for $84.00 per night! We were really excited as we walked through the outdoor lobby up to the check in desk. "This is so nice!" I kept saying out loud to Brian. There were cushy lounge chairs and nice couches surrounding beautiful glass tables. A live band was playing soothing Hawaiian music to create a wonderful ambiance. There were cool looking trees and tropical flowers that smelled amazing!
"I'm sorry, but this rate is only for family members of the employee," came the voice behind the desk to shatter my awe. "Your friend rate will be $202.00 per night." Talk about a slap in the face!

It really was impractical for us to spend that much on a room for three nights, so when we realized that she wasn't going to budge, we had her cancel our reservation and sulked away from the counter. Great. 6:00 pm in Hawaii, and we have no place to go. We stood directionless for a couple of minutes before we went to find a phone-book to make another reservation somewhere else. After many calls, we found the cheapest place around and walked across the street to spend $135.00 per night for a mediocre room with a rock hard bed and an air conditioner that only had one temperature - FREEZING! But, we were in Hawaii! And, thanks to Natalie, we even got to have a small taste of what luxury might be like in paradise. :) Thanks, Natalie!

The Sun Rises

*These are gorgeous. You can click on them to get the fullest effect my little camera was able to capture.*

Brian had to leave at 6:30 the next morning to get to his interview on time, so I grabbed my camera and a book and headed out to the beach to catch the sunrise. Once I found the perfect spot on the deserted beach, I sat down, hugged my knees to my chest to shield myself a little from the cool morning breeze, and soaked in the moment. It was so beautiful, that I never even picked up my book. As the gray sky turned brilliantly into baby blue, I watched and listened to the waves gently break on the shore. Is there a more peaceful, beautiful sound? Each broken wave carried heavy sand which sank back quickly to the earth - leaving only the crystal clear water to be pulled back into the next breaking wave.

I have never been able to find my favorite color inside a crayon box. In fact, my favorite color is, unfortunately, nameless. It is the color of a clean wave, just before it breaks, when the sun pierces the blue water with just enough yellow sunlight to give it the slightest tint of green. It sits on the verge of transparency...as if you should be able to see through it - but the color is slightly too rich. And, just as any color, there are different shades - it all depends on how much sunlight you add. They are all beautiful.

At 7:09, the sky had almost reached it's daytime brilliance and the waves snapped me back to reality as they crashed loudly onto the sand. I looked out to the ocean and saw large waves making their way to the shoreline. There were surfers scattered out among the waves and I realized that day had begun. It was interesting to me how one minute the ocean was quiet, calm and peaceful...and the next minute it came to life, throwing big waves out from nowhere...almost as if to say, "Well, day is here...it's showtime!" ... well. I'm glad I was able to see the ocean before it woke up. I think the ocean is kind of like a child - you can play and laugh and have fun with him when he's awake...but he's just so beautiful when he's sleeping...

I'd better call it a night for now - but stay tuned and I'll share more experiences, thoughts and pictures from our wonderful Hawaiian vacation!
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