Snowy Lessons

My hands would love to be curled around a mug full of steamy hot chocolate right now...I'm just feeling too lazy to get up and fix one for myself. That, and I can't seem to stop staring out my window at the playful way the leaves are sticking up through the thin layer of slushy snow. I've grown quite fond of the way North Carolina handles snow. It comes, it's given full respect and attention for a day or two, and it leaves.

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I started out 2010 with one goal: be nice to myself. As a perfectionist, I am quite good at making my own life difficult...and I set out last year to put some of that perfectionism behind me and cut myself some slack. I kept it up until about...February. I felt hollow just being overly optimistic about what I was accomplishing and ignoring the things that weren't being attended to. So, I decided to add a little depth to my quest and changed my goal: start seeking an honest view of myself. I hoped that, with this new goal, I'd be able to both cut myself slack and work to better myself. As a result, I spent much of 2010 analyzing me.

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The snow has done it's job to put a halt to everyday life today. Instead of waking at 7:00, we woke at 8:00. Instead of rushing though the morning routine, we played in the snow in our pajamas before breakfast. Instead of sending the kids to school, I sent them downstairs to pick their favorite board game. Instead of vacuuming, we played the Wii. Instead of budgeting, I'm blogging...

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My revised goal brought with it many hard questions. What am I good at? What makes me happy? Which of my weaknesses would be most beneficial to work on? Analyzing my strengths proved quite challenging for me, and I soon found myself more comfortable (though unhappier) taking a good hard look at my weaknesses. It was emotionally difficult to stare them in the face and view my dark sides with clarity. But, like monsters in a closet, the hardest part was turning towards them and approaching the door. Once I shined the light on them and began to study them, I realized that they weren't monsters at all...just piles of garbage that need to be sifted through and sorted out. And, who knows, there might be some useful stuff in there...

And I found that analyzing my strengths became more comfortable when I started using the term blessings instead. I found a bunch of good tools in there that will come in handy when I start hacking away at those weakness piles.

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The snow is already starting to disappear. The roads are clear, but wet. The school just called to announce that they will resume their classes tomorrow on a 2-hour delay. Thursday will be back to normal, and by Monday there will most likely be no signs of the break in routine.

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This year, as I start to work on those piles of garbage, I'm going to embrace the first goal of last year: be nice to myself.

Because snow will fall on my plans sometimes and break up the routines. And, while lazy snow days every day would be disastrous on a number of levels, it's quite fun every once in a while. So I think I would do well to remember the North Carolina snow mentality when it comes to a goal-thwarting circumstance: It comes, it's given full respect and attention for a day or two, and it leaves.

And, in a few days, there will most likely be no signs of the break in routine.