Vacation to Balboa Island

It was a little tricky this year figuring out what to give the kids for their Experience Gift for Christmas because it felt like Covid had shut down all the Experiences. And after such a long few months trapped inside our homes we felt like we needed an experience. So Brian and I decided to go big. Well, bigger than our previous experiences of escape rooms and shark aquariums. 

Big, like in small vacations. Two, actually. One full of shopping and exploring on Balboa Island for the big kids, and one to St. George for hiking and eating and playing games all night in a hotel room for the littler ones. And I was the lucky one that got to enjoy both. 

Balboa Island

First up, Carson, Kenz and I packed the car with suitcases and snacks and left Boulder City behind in search of the beach. I like to take the route to California through the intriguing Joshua Tree forest. I've always wanted to get out and explore, but since not everyone in my family shares my affinity for exploration I've kept my mouth shut and soaked in what I could of the forest as it sped by my window.

But this time I had a car full of adventurous spirits!

So, halfway through the forest I pulled off to the side of the road, opened all the doors, and jumped out with cameras and smiles.

But as much as we loved the Joshua Tree Forest, there are not very many things that feel quite as amazing as leaving the dry desert and landing in a place with humid sea air.

We arrived at our hotel at nightfall and the front desk explained that in order to get to our room we would need to "walk down the hall, turn right, pass the ballrooms, and find the elevators on the other side." I was surprised at how far away the elevators were from the front desk, but all Carson heard was... "ballrooms?! "Ballroomsssssss?! I really want to see inside one of those!" 

Of course, the doors to the ballrooms were all locked (we tried), but our exploration continued with Carson's interest highly piqued in the architecture of the building. 

We ordered pizza from GrubHub and had it delivered to our lobby (I'd never done that before!), and then cozied up in our hotel room and watched Better than Fiction.

The next day was our one full day, and we intended to make the most of it.

I was thankfully no longer on crutches, but the doctor had put me in a surgical boot to see if that would help (it wouldn't, but I didn't know that at the time). I can't even tell you how free I felt in that boot! All of the sudden I could walk and move in ways I hadn't been able to do for months! I did know, however, that my mileage might be a bit limited in the boot, so we rented three beach bikes for the day instead of padding around on foot. Pedaling a bike in a surgical boot really isn't as cumbersome as you might think. It allowed us to see alllllllllll the sights. 

Candy store included.

We explored every single store we wanted to without any little kids begging to be done. And then we made our way to the beach.

We spent far too much time under the pier taking photos.

At one point we told Carson to "put your hand behind your head and stare off into the distance like you're pondering something important." He tried, again and again, but just couldn't do it with a straight face. Posing feels so weird.

He eventually got it.

More pics:

Eventually we got our fill and found our way back to the hotel where we promptly put on our swimming suits and joined all the quiet adults in the pool and hot tub. I fear we were rather disruptive. 

But it's just too hard to be quiet and serious with these guys around. We had such a great time and woke up early the next morning to be home in time for church.

Scrambled Thoughts

1. We've been watching a lot of Sherlock Holmes lately

Well, not Eliza. But the bigger kids. And I'm pretty sure that Benedict Cumberpatch has embodied the character so completely that there's no hope for anyone else on the planet. 

2. The kids grab my phone and take pictures of me all the time.

And I delete them all the time. Because the lighting is all wrong and the lens is all smeared and my eyes are half closed and my face is all blurry and etc, etc, etc. But maybe the kids'll want some terrible quality pictures of their mother in the height of her mothering season someday, so maybe I'll start keeping them around.

3. Carson's name should have been The Most Caring and Compassionate Brother Ever.

I have so many pictures of these two. They've adored each other since Eliza was born, and I keep wondering if at some point Eliza will start looking more like a pesky little sister to Carson... but it certainly hasn't happened yet.

4. Singing Teenagers are Cool

These guys got all dressed up to audition for Zions Youth. And they spent hours practicing. The weirdest thing about the entire situation was not being sure whether to have Carson audition as a tenor or a bass. What is happening?!

They both made it and had such a fantastic experience.

5. I'm really not sure why I stress so much about having the perfect couches.

Because do you know what teenagers don't care about? Couches.

6. When homeschool officially ends I will *miss* mornings like this:

And this:

7. This date night is inspiring me to hang swinging lights alllllllllllll across my yard.

So, Brian might not ever want to take me on a date again.

8. I think I should pile into a van full of women way more often.

That's a genuine smile up there. If you've known my struggle with friendships over the last several years that will mean something to you, too.

We all went up to Cara's cabin in the mountains for a couple of days to watch Time Out for Women (which was available for streaming because of the pandemic). Filling both spiritually and emotionally. 

9. Remember that portion of life when we didn't have a dog?

That was weird.

Baptized

 

Timothy was so very ready for his baptism. He didn't have a nervous or worried bone in his whole body as he spent the few weeks beforehand preparing. He has a sensitivity to him that is deep and real and yields itself to feeling the Spirit and believing. I recognize it because I think I have the same thing. I wonder if his heart will ever question deeply or if he'll mostly always know - in the deepest parts of him - that God is real and that he is loved and cheered on by the heavens. His mind might question, as mine does, but his heart seems blessed with a living testimony that pulses as consistently as the muscle itself. I think it might take a lot for his faith to skip a beat, and even more for it to diminish in its life-giving nectar. We are so blessed to have him in our home.

He dressed in white just minutes before the meeting started, and his eyes told the whole story of anticipation, excitement, faith, preparedness. My favorite quote from the whole weekend was from him just before we started the meeting. "I can't believe I'm almost baptized... it's like... ONE MINUTE!"

When the time came for him to get into the water, he stepped a foot into the hot tub we had heated just one hour before. And, it turns out, a hot tub can lose quite a bit of heat in one hour if it's left open to the elements! He opened his eyes in surprise as he stepped down to the bottom and laughed a little as he said, "Cold! Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold!" But even being submerged in cold water couldn't temper his excitement and couldn't dull those bright, happy eyes. 

He is such a beautiful boy. Outside - it's true that sometimes I can't stop myself from staring at that handsome face and wonder how many hearts he's destined to break - but so much greater is his beauty inside.

He was lucky to share his day with his best friend, Ezra.

And, I know I've said this here before, but I love that this pandemic has showed me that my home is a sacred place. We have now baptized in our hot tub, and we have given the gift of the Holy Ghost on our sports court.

God's power is here. In my home. In my family. And I feel it so fiercely. God's power doesn't care too much about the dust on the shelves. It moves around the dirty dishes and unfolded piles of laundry with ease. It patiently waits for me to work through my overwhelm and frustrations and wraps me up each time I turn to it for help.

I still don't understand God's power very well. But I do know that I have the authority to call it into my home, to use it to strengthen my faith and my family, and to let it flow within us and around us.

And it is here.

Love you to death, Timothy! 

Here are a few extra pictures of him getting ready.

Timothy’s 8th Birthday

 

His birthday eyes started the night before his 8th birthday. We snuggled into my bed and I wrapped him up as tight as I could to hold on to the last little sliver of seven. We snapped selfies and laughed so hard that it was impossible to get any of them crisp and clear; he was just. too. excited to stay still for 2 whole seconds for the exposure. I love them all the more for it.

But try as I might to keep that last little sliver of seven from slipping away, the morning came and turned him eight. His birthday started with breakfast and presents.

And then he and I climbed into the car and drove into town for some shopping and lunch. We picked Old Navy because they were one of the only retail stores that had open dressing rooms and, after almost a year of not shopping for anything, I really wasn't entirely sure what size he'd need. He was so excited just to be out and shopping on his birthday that he came out of the dressing room dancing like a duck every. single. time. Not that I know, exactly, what a duck looks like when he's dancing, but after watching Timothy I have an idea.

Even after he'd tried on a couple of things so we were comfortable with his size, he still begged to try on every single piece we pulled off the racks because "it is just so fun!" So I spent lots and lots of minutes on the bench just outside that dressing room door clapping and admiring every t-shirt.

After shopping we headed out to his favorite restaurant for lunch, Zupas, where he ordered his standard cauliflower soup and grilled cheese sandwich.

While we were eating, a man dressed in ragged clothes came up to our table and asked if I had any money for a bus ticket. I don't carry cash on me and told him as much just as a Zupas worker came and escorted him out of the building. It hardly caused a ripple in my moment and I turned my attention back to my beautiful 8-year-old, ready to ask him another probing question to find out more about his brain and his life. But Timothy's demeanor had noticeably changed and, after a few minutes, he revisited the moment.

"Why do you think he needed a bus ticket, Mom?"

"Why couldn't he buy one?"

"I feel sad for him."

"I hope he gets home okay."

"Mom, do you think we could ask all the rich people in the world to help the poor people?"

Discussing the hards of life with him in that moment was... hard. His heart was pulling for that man, and I felt guilty that my heart had not been. Through my conversation with Timothy, I started to wish I had offered to buy the man lunch, to have a seat at our table, to hear his story. It had been a non-threatening situation, and I could have been so much more compassionate and understanding. Timothy is such a good example of love, and we are so blessed to have him in our home.

Eventually, we made it back home ourselves and pulled out the cake and candles.

And he went to bed a very happy 8-year-old.

A few days later, his friends came over for a birthday party.

His best friend, Ezra, has a birthday just two days before Timothy, so they decided to do a joint party. We had games in the backyard, pool, pizza... it was perfect.

Happy Birthday, Handsome Boy!

I'm not really a dog person...

Meet Maisy - 3.5 lbs of pure fluff and love.

Well, now she's 8 lbs of pure fluff and love because she's six months old... but we'll back up in time since these pictures are all from her first week home.

I'm not really a dog person. I don't like their slobbery noses, and I don't like their smell, and I don't like their fur, and I don't like that they poop. 

Brian feels the same way, so it was easy through our first 18 years of marriage to not get a dog. But then our kids got older and developed their own opinions on the matter and they did not agree with our rather snooty and judgmental views on dogs. They used words like 'fun' and 'cute' and 'loyal', and they've been wearing us down for years any way they could. Miles, for example, took his daily writing prompt and weaved into every single one (for months) reasons why we should get a dog. His essays were not what I'd call convincing or well argued, but they were certainly passionate and creative... which, in turn, made them slightly convincing after all.

I'm embarrassed to admit just how picky I was in selecting a perfect little canine companion... it had to be completely non-shedding, hypoallergenic from both parents, small but not yappy, playful but not crazy, have an adorable little face and beautiful coloring... it took us three months to find her once we started looking, and we felt pretty lucky in that because at first it looked like we were going to have to pay to put our names on several different waiting lists that were a full year long.

Anyway, it was important to me to find the perfect puppy because I knew it might take a little bit of thought work to get myself to a place of enjoying the puppy, and thought it would be easier if I controlled for as many circumstances up front as I could. 

Of course, there's no such thing as perfection, so even after I picked her up in St. George, I still felt a bit sick to my stomach through the two hour drive home, hoping I'd not just made a most terrible mistake. I was concerned that her presence in my home would count as a mild negative in my life, along with the laundry, or tolerating the teenage boy smell whenever all the friends come over and work up a sweat playing tag downstairs... something that I'd rather not do, but that I do do because I love my children. In addition, I was concerned that a puppy would feel to me like one more set of eyes looking to me, needing me, for love and care and life-sustaining involvement.

But I was happy to note that after just a couple of days I felt rather... indifferent.

And then a few days after that I found myself smiling occasionally while I was all by myself watching her play.

And then I started taking pictures of her first bath... and I realized I was on a slippery slope towards love. 

And now, six months later, she is sitting here by my feet (with a cone head since she just got spayed, poor thing), and I can't even believe we thought our home was full of love before she arrived. We are all completely wrapped up and in love with her!

Anyway - back to the first week.

I love watching my kids with her. Miles, after just two days, exclaimed, "I vow to never live without a dog again!" I'm so sorry, Miles's future wife... I hope you love dogs as much as he does.

Also, we felt we needed another red-head in the family, so this worked out well.

Eliza was a little apprehensive for the first few weeks (anyone surprised?). Maisy was a bit too unpredictable for her. But has since adopted her as her favorite friend and carries her around the house every chance she gets.

Maisy turns heads everywhere we go, and she has the sweetest little personality to go along with that cute face. Whenever we take her to the vet, the staff all joke that we're going to have to wrestle someone to take her back home.

She fits so perfectly into our family and our lives would feel a whole lot emptier without her.

I still don't quite consider myself a dog person... but I definitely consider myself a Maisy person.

McKenzie's 17th Birthday

Seventeen.

I read a post on instagram this morning from a friend whose twin babies just graduated from High School. "I blinked..." she wrote, and in her reel of pictures she had them dressed in high school graduation robes, dressed in kindergarten graduation robes, and snuggled up on her chest in a hospital as the tiniest premies I've ever seen.

I always reflect on my kids' lives when their birthdays come around; it feels natural. And while McKenzie's life to this point has certainly gone fast for me, I'm not sure that her baby years, or her toddler years, or even her young childhood years feel as close away as my last blink. So much change and so much growth has happened in the last 17 years that, while I can still see those chubby cheeks and that beautiful head of ringlets, to even say that it seems like yesterday is quite a stretch.

But do you know what does feel like yesterday? Her 12th birthday. I swear Grandma was just here, sitting in my living room with a bright and crooked-toothed smiling Kenzie snuggled under her arm, replaying her own memories of the beautiful day McKenzie was born. Maybe it's because we haven't moved in those six years, so the memories I have of her from that time fit right into the backdrop of my current life, I don't know. But, man, if I woke up tomorrow and 12-year-old McKenzie came walking into my room in those cute little blue-rimmed glasses, I'm not entirely sure I'd notice right away that something was off.

But, well, now here we are, one tiny year away from this beautiful girl graduating. 

And while the last six years maybe haven't shown me the types of personal changes to help mark my own passage of time, they sure have changed her. She has blossomed from a responsible, happy child who was eager to do good, into a young woman that confidently stands for her values and who navigates and takes care of all the aspects of her own life. She is in the business of creating herself, and she's doing it so, so well. 

Her teenage years have been a delight to watch, so much so that Brian and I still have no idea what it feels like to parent through those 'hard teenage years' because for us, they just haven't been that hard. It's not that hard to heat the hot tub and buy marshmallows and graham crackers when all the friends come over. It's not that hard to hug the girlfriends who come over with broken hearts and take them out for ice cream. It's not that hard to love the boy McKenzie likes because she likes such a good boy. It's not that hard to sign her report card of straight A's or to give advice when she genuinely comes seeking it.

She's spoiling us.

And while my love for her is certainly not dependent on any of that, the reality is that it's made it easy for these years to be relaxing and fun.

There is something in her that contributes to making this family flow. She has a deep love for each of her siblings and it has created a beautiful tone in our family through all of her years. 

Anyway, her birthday was fun. It started with family breakfast and presents, and then continued with a shopping trip up to St. George where the cutest little puppy was looking for a home, and since we were in the market for one, it seemed like a fun birthday trip. We took her two best friends, Alex and Kaylee, along with us to give us some extra opinions about the puppy, and to add a bit more fun as having extra girls around for shopping is prone to do.

These three have all been going to Nevada State High School this year - working hard to get as many college credits under their belts as they can before they actually go to college - and it has given them the perfect atmosphere in which to bond.

And, after seeing the puppy, we all agreed that she was simply irresistible!

Best birthday present ever! The whole family was shocked and ecstatic when we walked in the door with her.

She seriously looks like a little stuffed animal.

We finished out the evening with cake: 

And a few rounds of our new favorite game, Secret Hitler (I know, it sounds terrible).

We love you, Kenz! Happy birthday!