I've been thinking a bit about 'bad days' recently. Maybe because I've had some lately and I keep telling myself that, really, I should not be having bad days when everything around me is screaming of beauty and life. And yet. Turns out that even on the beach days can feel drippy and heavy sometimes.
Making decisions has never been one of my strong points. If you don't like shopping, DO NOT go with me. Seriously. It takes me forever to make decisions on everything from a new pair of jeans to peanut butter. (Which is probably why I never go shopping for a new pair of jeans, and why you'll always find the exact same kind of peanut butter in my cupboards because I already agonized over and made that decision years ago and I'm not about to go there again.) In addition to making decisions, change has never been one of my strong points either. There's a famous family story involving the kitchen cupboards in my childhood kitchen that sent me spiraling into waves of tears when my parents removed them. As a child I would also cry if my dad got a new car (especially once when his new car had a taillight configuration that made it look incredibly sad), about shaving my legs and piercing my ears (because I was growing up), and always at the beginning and end of school years (which is rather normal, I think). So, when these two weak things in my life get thrown together and I am forced to make a decision on a major change in my life it creates a perfect storm, so to speak, for a disastrous emotional roller coaster.
I'm all better now and, truthfully, I have nothing really insightful to say about these so called 'bad days' other than they must all be part of the great plan. Opposition in all things, you know?
And, the bad days have given birth to wonderful things. Hard decisions have been made and our future is starting to take the form of something wonderful. It's not all the way formed yet, but I feel like it's moving in a good direction and that most of the hardest decisions have been made. I'm sure you'll hear more details as things unfold a bit more concretely, but for now I'm happy to be back! Back to blogging, back to this dreamlike year we're living, back to my happy place.
