Lessons Learned in the Desert

1. It's not a myth... cactus quills really do hurt.

And what's more is that they're kind of sneaky, too.  Show us a cactus with giant menacing quills and we're sure to stay away.  But show us a cactus with almost-invisible-fuzzy hair and it's not so simple.  Turns out the fuzzy hairs are more like poisonous shards that stab you and stick into your skin for the long haul.  We've all learned this the hard way because we have a pet cactus in our backyard.  It keeps eating our balls - soccer balls, footballs, basketballs, kickballs, you name it - and we're getting dangerously close to Ball Extinction over here.  Anyway, those tiny quills are small enough to be rather invisible and seem rather harmless, so you don't see that they have dislodged from the cactus and have found a new home in the skin of the ball. But as you retrieve your ball from the cactus, being careful not to touch the giant menacing quills, you grab right on top of a patch of the nasty poison shards and suddenly they don't seem so harmless anymore.  It takes days to remove them all and is quite frustrating.  My neighbor finally suggested wrapping the thing in bubble wrap.  I'm pretty sure that would kill the plant (no air for it to breathe, you see), but every time I quickly Google it, I just end up with lots of hits on how to make a cactus with bubble wrap, pipe cleaners and paint.  Not so helpful.  I guess we'll just keep the tweezers handy and curse the thing under our breaths.

2.  Drivers drive safely here... it might be because they know if they got in an accident they'd have to step out of their air conditioned car into the deathly heat of Hades.

I know, I know.  This is a terrible picture.  But it feels a bit awkward to be pointing your camera directly at the car parked right next to you (the driver doesn't know whether to act candid or to smile, you know), so this is all we get.  Anyway.  The important thing about this picture is All That Space between the two cars right next to me!  They are both completely stopped and you could fit a small car between them.  This happens always.  Definitely much different than the bumper riders in Miami.

3.  My kids get happy when they're twirling.

Do you know what you need for twirling?  Space.  A lot of it, preferably, if more than one child is twirling around at the same time.  The first night in our new home McKenzie spent about 30 minutes up in this giant play room twirling around and singing an original song all about how much she loved it.  It sure feels good to stretch out our muscles from our cramped Miami quarters. Also, carpet.  That's nice, too.  Because twirling makes you dizzy.

4. Nothing shines a light on how much junk you own like pulling it out of 3,578 boxes.

5.  My kids get happy when they're wrestling.

Do you know what you need for wrestling?  Space.
Also, carpet is nice, too. Because, wrestling. 

6.  Moving to a new place alongside old friends is kiiiiiiiiiind of cheating.

Out of 50 states and thousands of cities, what were the chances that one of our best family friends from North Carolina would end up living less than two miles away from us on the other side of the country?  No matter how many  new faces and new names and new stories I have to learn, I know I can always end a hard day sipping hot cocoa across from one familiar face I love.  It feels kind of like a moving shortcut - and I'm happy to take it.

And unpacking boxes alongside old friends is definitely the way to go... especially if you can wear formals while you're at it.   These girls spent days creating BoxVille.  An entire village made from the discarded boxes.  They even had inspirational quotes up on the walls (one of my favorites was "a house is not a home without a family") and laws to govern themselves.  At one point I said, "You know what this is girls?  Old friends in a new house."  This sparked 45 minutes of creative song writing and singing by those three.  The lyrics went something like this:

We are old friends

Old friends.

We are old friends in a new house.

7.  Homeschooling has a million perks, but so does public school.



Thankfully all the schools around here are great - and we've been super happy with ours.  And, as I took the two minutes to hack away all the personal information on these kids' brand new school shirts before posting the picture I felt sad because... well... I guess just because I felt I had to.  And because the whole point of this picture was to show off their new school pride.  But I suppose, if I ever get around to it, it'll go in the scrapbook in all it's informative glory. 

8.  The grocery stores have giant variety of candy.  Really.

We had plenty to pick and choose from to make this candy poster for Daddy.  The kids and I thought of one nice thing to do for Daddy every day during the first week of his brand new job.  Monday we filled the house with handmade posters and signs.  Tuesday I ironed all of his shirts (big deal, people), Wednesday we made this candy poster, Thursday we made a raspberry cheesecake, and Friday we made a delicious salmon dinner (okay, I know.  Our lives kind of revolve around food... but it makes us happy).  I really am so proud of him.  The past 10 years he has worked so hard to build a successful career and has also worked hard to help me create a successful family.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - he is a master in the art of balance.  So I was happy to do a week of good for him.  I was also happy when that week ended.  It's hard to be nice.

9.  For being free, public schools sure cost a lot of money.

$200 stares you in the face here, people.  $200. 

10.  Turns out the doctors in Vegas agree with the doctors elsewhere.  Immunizations are important.

Timothy would like to disagree.  But I think he was more traumatized by the giant mass of blood-soaking-gear they stuck to his legs.  Seriously! In the office, TK pulled the gobs of cotton and bandaids off of his left leg twice before I finally said, 'enough'.  Has anyone ever had a kid that bled enough to warrant all of that cotton?  It seems to me that we might have bigger problems if he did need all of that - but... I could be wrong.

Halloweek

Is it just me, or do holidays get more crazy every single year?  Long gone are the days I spent pouring over my sewing machine crafting the perfect costume for my sweet baby girl.  Long gone are the days I strapped my new little son in a stroller and watched as my toddler girl skipped around our small neighborhood, delighted with the ten houses that gave her candy, and none the wiser that bedtime still happened at 7:00.  Long gone are the days rummaging through the house to find the capes and the drapes and the pillows and the paint that could transform our family into something new.

Now Amazon Prime is my best friend and I spent a total of 15 minutes selecting and clicking and ordering those costumes that came right to my door.  No face paint.  No crazy hair.  Just put on your costumes and let's go, folks.

And then I remembered that we have a fourth child.  The day before the trunk-or-treat I stopped in my tracks and realized that I had not put one ounce of thought into that sweet baby boy.  So overalls, a plaid shirt, a bit of eyeliner makeup and glue in his hair turned him into a makeshift scarecrow.  And while we were at it, me and Brian, too.

He was delighted.  And the trunk-or-treat was a success.

Next up on the docket: carving pumpkins.

Also, remember how I used to really pay attention to my pictures?  Not this post, I'm afraid.  Almost every one of these is fuzzy and weird.  But most of the time I had a toddler on my hip and about 4 seconds to get the shot off before I lost my subjects.  So, just a fair warning... these are what I call 'memory photos' - their entire purpose is to preserve a memory instead of please the eye.  So, here we go.

Brian was in charge of buying pumpkins this year due to a silly back problem I have.  Couldn't lift the darn things from the grocery bin into the cart this year.  So - - - warty pumpkins!  They were fun, but the skin was tough and I am quite impressed we came away with all of our fingers. 

And then, school.  It's fun to have these kids back in public school where they plan parties for you and help create those special memories.  This picture just illustrates how giant Miles is compared to his classmates.  He is in the 98th percentile and towers over all of his kindergarten friends.  Plus, he's one of the babies of the class with a late June birthday - good thing we didn't hold him back a year. Isn't that little miss Dorothy the cutest thing you ever saw?  Good thing she has a ninja to protect her.

That night, back into costume for the school carnival.  They sure put a lot of work into this thing, and the kids came away with happy smiles and cheap toys.

Finally, it was Halloween.  By this time, the third dressing in costume, TK was a pro.  When I asked him if he wanted to go do his nose, he stuck his lips out in a pout and said, "Ohs, ohs," ready for the paint.  I'm afraid he'll be disappointed now that this isn't the daily routine anymore.

Kenz and I ran into a problem when we realized that she needed to tie this tie - and Brian wasn't around.  So, I called my dad and asked him to walk me through it.  He did great... and so did I, ifIdosaysomyself. Even though I had to do it twice because the first time I didn't notice that the small end of the tie hung about 8 inches below the fat side.

Then, outside to take a couple of pictures before our trick-or-treating. 

Seriously, could this boy be any cuter?  Even with that fake smile.

And, we were off!  We headed over to the Larsons to trick-or-treat around their neighborhood because we heard they had the best around.  We were not disappointed.  HANDFULS of candy at almost every house... and, not to name drop, but Gladys Knight had the most gigantic spread you have ever seen in your life.  Gladys Knight's husband shoveled double handful after double handful after double handful into Miles's pillowcase of full-sized candy bars with a huge smile on his face.  Gladys Knight had blow up toys for the kids to jump in, a mini ferris-wheel for them to circle in, and a train to pull handfuls of kids around in at a time.  It was impressive and so, so fun at Gladys Knights home.  Gladys Knight.

Our partners in crime:

By the end of the night, Carson had so much candy he didn't even walk up to the doors anymore.  He was exhausted.

Miles couldn't even carry his bag by the end of the night, and Becky and I had to trade off with it to try and prevent injury.  I had to bribe him to hold it up just for this picture.  I bribed him with candy, and it totally worked. 

Brian and I, of course, took our tax from the kids and ended up quite rich ourselves.  Over 50 full-sized candy bars, mostly from Gladys Knight's house, to eat over the next long, long while.  Please don't send any candy our way for ... forever.  If you trick-or-treat at our house next year, be prepared to receive some of this in your own pillowcase...

But since most of it is from Gladys Knight, maybe you'll be okay with that.

August Harvest

The beach is gone.

That makes these harvests quite a bit harder, you know. 

But, look!  Turns out there is beauty in the desert after all. 

1 - I am falling more and more in love with my camera phone every day.  For such a tiny, multipurpose thing, it sure did a good job with all the levels of light at the Bellagio, didn't it?  And isn't the color of that sky dreamy?  (Not captured, Andrea Bocelli's voice coming through the loudspeakers.  Also dreamy.)

2 - Cute little things.  The picture doesn't do a good job of showing you what this tiny bush actually looks like (though, I love the picture the way it is), but this is the tip of one in front of my house.  We have several of them lining our walkway and they were the first things that made me feel that maybe we could do this whole desert thing.  Foxtails, they're called. 
3 - I think these flowers look like happy eyelashes.
4 - Silhouettes.  I don't know why they're so hard for me to get right, but I just love a good one.
5 - Dancing sunlight
6 - Does this even need a caption?  He was on cloud nine after that spare - and those curls bouncing on his head just kill me.
7 - Cactus.
8 - Another plant in our yard.  I think it kind of looks like someone needs to take a hairbrush through all those tangles... but light can make most anything beautiful.
9 - Do you know we're back in the land of Not Making Our Own Fry Sauce?
10 - The. Best. Burger. I. Have. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Eaten.  I will be back to this place.

11 - Everyone needs a role model.

12 - Sunny Grass
13 - I'm finding I'm developing an affinity for the color orange.
14 - Red Rock
15 - Beautiful.  Beautiful boys.
16 - So symmetrical.
17 - Uninviting in such a beautiful way.
18 - My parents live in an amazing place.
19 - You guys.  It rained.  And I loved it.
20 - My McKenzie.  She's beautiful.  So is that sky.

21 - It was dark, and I didn't have a tripod but, lightning, so I had to try!  It's grainy and fuzzy, but also beautiful.

22 - Tiny little spider-webby fibers.  And notice the new growth on the cladode in the bottom right corner. (Don't I sound smart? (Google helped.))
23 - First day of school bacon.  Sometimes it's nice to put Brian in charge of breakfast.
24 - Sigh.  My beautiful boy.  He's growing up, you know.  Turned 8.
25 - Tiny corndogs.
26 - Fuzzy leaves
27 - Isn't the way the light is playing off of this pillar pretty?
28 - My second dessert plate at the Wicked Spoon.  Trust me, it was a beautiful thing.  Also, I just realized that this is the third picture of food in this one collage... hm.
29 - First day of school.  You know how many kids I had shopping with me that day?  ONE!  One.  Just one.
30 - Such a funny, cloudless sunset!

31 - Isn't that baby precious?  Even more beautiful is the fun and love he'll share with Poppy all through his life. 

Family

There is something about being with the Alders... something fulfilling.  And beautiful.  And encouraging.  And motivating.  And inspiring.

Brian's parents revolve around family, and they are masters at expanding and adapting their revolving circle as the needs and circumstances of the family change.  They didn't miss a step when I entered into it, and with the addition of each of my children, they have changed their lives to welcome them. They are parents, but I have watched them as they've become grandparents, too.  And, through their stories, I can see that they have not forgotten that they themselves are children and grandchildren as well.

This bleeds down into the rest of the family.  Each of Brian's siblings are unique and interesting.  Each has something different to contribute to the family, and all combine together to make the family setting rich and beautiful.

I know my kids feel it too.  Though, mostly they just love being around their only cousins.

We spent a week with these awesome people... here are some of the highlights (and then, I promise, I'll start talking about my life as it is now instead of my life as it was during the summer.  Though, lets take a moment to feel the accomplishment of sifting through and editing two thousand summer pictures, and then recording the highlights.  Deep breath in, deep breath out... Ah.  Feels good.)

1 - Mawwage.  Mawwage is wat bwings us togeder today.  Mawage, dat bwessed awangement, dat dweam wifin a dweam...

Well, it wasn't really marriage that brought us together this night... but it was the celebration of a marriage.  Remember how Brian and I went to Hawaii for his sister, Heidi's, wedding?  Well, this summer she decided to have an open house in Utah.  And all the children got dressed up for it.



The setting was gorgeous, and don't let this next picture fool you, the kids were energetic and had fun all night. (Though, maybe the picture proves that...?)

2 - Formal birthday parties are fun when you're young and again when you're old.

I love that my children are old enough to now have memories of a great grandparent... Great Grandpa Alder is an inspiration to us all... Happy, hard working, and surrounded by love.

3 - It is miraculous that this quiet patch of earth can be both emotionally draining and emotionally sustaining at the same time.



Brian and I were happy to take time out of a busy day to escape up the hillside for this quiet moment with our children.  Timothy was napping, and initially we thought it would be best that way because... well, because he's not really the type to sit still and reverently as we remember what Jess means to us.  But now, I'll be honest and admit that a quiet tear just rolled down my cheek as I saw this picture and felt the hollow absence of him.  I would have liked all of my children to have been there... toddler energy and all.

But, it was nice to be able to sit in a circle around Jess's grave and to talk with the kids, again, about how beautiful he is to us and to our family. And we might not have been able to do that if we were trying to keep Timothy from balancing on the headstones, or darting into the parking lot, or eating the memorial flowers next to us, or... well, or otherwise behaving like a crazy toddler.

4 - Alder Family Reunions are the best

I'd be lying if I said that the Alder Family Reunion wasn't surrounded by a lot of stress.  My mother-in-law, Jean, deals with the brunt of it (she's a planner) as she arranges everything just so.  I watch her bat ideas around and then try to juggle the needs and wants of every member of the family who, by nature of being different humans, have different ideas and opinions about how it should go.  Bless her for trying to accommodate us all.  In the end, we settled on a beautiful cabin in Eden, Utah with an incredible view.

This year she brought all of the family history books she has collected over the years.  She piled them on the giant coffee table, and it provided hours of enjoyable reflection as we poured through them.  There were stories and pictures of our history all the way from great-grandparents down to the family calendar I made with my own hands just last year.  It was incredible to be able to see all those years thrown together in such a small pile on one table.

I spent one afternoon getting snapshots of each person for Jean to make a little remembrance book.

And aside from that, we spent the time relaxing.  And eating. 

And playing in the rocks.

And patrolling the doors.  TK took it upon himself to be in charge of all open doors.  They were unacceptable, in his opinion, and soon were slammed shut.

One afternoon, we took the kids for a hike.  Which ended up being less of a hike and more of a 'drag the kids up (and down) a giant mountain on a trail that was most certainly intended for ATV's and not for human feet'.  But when the trail ended up being steep enough that it would have been impossible not to use our hands, we decided to call it a day.  It ended up giving (some of) us a sense of accomplishment and (all of us) a pretty view, anyway.

Sorry, Miles... you are going to have to get down somehow...

We ended the reunion with a scavenger hunt put together by Brian's oldest brother, Steve.  The kids had a blast,

and the scavenger hunt was so well organized that every single child had fun. 

5 - Sometimes people ask me to take pictures of their family.  I'm always nervous, but thankfully my sister-in-law has a gorgeous family that is hard to mess up.

We stopped off at Heidi's house just before we left to have one last hot-dog BBQ and to take some pictures of Mary's family.  Brian was so helpful and actually let me drag him around the backyard to take pictures of him as I experimented with the light.  I'm not even going to tell you what he found so funny here... because it might have had to do with me being indecently exposed as I bent over to take the picture. (Man, I gotta watch that.)

And since the camera was out, and these two were sitting in the hammock all cute-looking with Jack by their side...

Alders, we sure love you!