Scattered December

1. Do You Think a Murder-Scene-Gingerbread-House Could Someday be Used to Create Reasonable Suspicion?

Asking for a friend.

This year the pre-cut, pre-assembled, candy-and-frosting-included gingerbread house kits called to me like never before. For over a decade I have spent one night every December gingerly cutting graham crackers into tiny roofs and tiny walls and hot-gluing them together into little houses.

I'd never even been tempted to buy a pre-assembled kit because the prices of them seem so ridiculous. But as I passed the kits in the Target aisles this year, I found myself wrestling. The prices are still ridiculous, and eventually the moral reasoning behind spending that much on something I could make myself eventually tipped the decision, and I passed them up to continue my shopping. 

I mean, granted, my homemade houses aren't going to win any beauty contests, but the kids don't care.

A while later I passed them again (oh Target, how good you are at cultivating the wandering feet) and the wrestle resumed.

Hours, my brain said. You will save hours if you just pick up the boxes and put them in your cart.

I did pick them up. I studied the boxes and scrutinized the piddly amount of candy that was promised inside. I mean, I could just buy a few bags of extra candy to supplement. But that would make the whole project even more expensive. Plus, how could I ensure that the houses wouldn't be broken inside?

No, I decided for the second time putting the boxes back on the shelves. It's not worth it.

My Target shopping continued and eventually swung me past the houses a third time.

Hourssssssssss. My brain said. How can you put a price on saved hours in December?!

I picked them up again.

You do NOT have to buy more candy. This is enough. Just do it. See how it goes.

And all at once the decision was made and I softly dropped four boxes for my four children into the basket of my cart and didn't look back. 

Bless Target's marketing and product placement for giving me three solid chances.

Because it was absolutely the right decision.

We started the evening talking about the animals that lived in the stable where baby Jesus was born and about how, just like they did, we can give parts of ourselves and our homes to make room for Jesus, too. We talked about how the stable was just a stable until Jesus entered, and upon His arrival it became holy. About how our homes and our lives also become holy when we let Jesus enter. 

After the lesson, Miles had to go to basketball practice, but the rest of us (and Eliza's friend Everly) unpacked the pre-assembled gingerbread homes and began to create our own 'stables.' I thought it was evident after our lesson that the idea was to make them fit for Jesus, but I guess murder scenes worked, too.

2. Teenagers are Weird

Just a normal Tuesday around here, watching the teenagers waddle around the kitchen like ducks.

3. It Looks Like They're Just Sitting There Next to Each Other on the Couch

And honestly, they are. Except there's just a feeling that exists between these two that you can't describe or capture in a picture. It's love and respect and delight and care- it's beautiful.

4. Our neighborhood feels like a little family.

I remember the first time we walked around our neighborhood. Though, it wasn't our neighborhood at the time. We had come to Boulder City to have dinner with one of Brian's practice partners who lived there, and after dinner we strolled along the sidewalk and he pointed to every single house we passed. "So-and-so lives here," he'd say. "You would love them. They have this many kids and have this role in society and have personalities like this..." Every. Single. House. 

I was surprised because I'd never lived in a neighborhood where people were such good friends with each other. The most I knew about my current neighbors in Henderson was what the back of their cars looked like as their garages shut behind them. 

I wasn't sure I wanted to live in Boulder City at that moment, but I knew I wanted to live in a neighborhood like that. 

And now here we are, nine year later, knowing and loving and dropping Christmas gifts off to almost every family in those 33 homes. 

5. Christmas Recitals

The house is filled with music at the fingers of these two. I'm grateful for them to have a chance to share their talents with others a couple of times a year.

6. Be Patient and Know That the Lord is Mindful of the Things That You Have. 

That's a line in my patriarchal blessing, and it's the one that has worn the deepest groove in my mind. He knows me so much better than I know myself, and I have been astounded over and over with what he is able to do with my messy life. Somehow in the middle of me dropping balls and crying in overwhelm and forgetting to shower and snarking at my husband and hiding from my kids, he reaches inside of me and pulls out the most enchanting and beautiful stones. He is my biggest cheerleader and has more confidence in me than anyone.

I would hate to direct a choir without him, but with him it's one of the greatest joys of my life. 

7. If You Get Famous By Mopping Sweat Off The Floors, You're Still Famous

Look at that handsome boy wield that mop! On ESPN, nonetheless!

8. She is the Highlight of my Week

My heart feels so confused sometimes because I miss McKenzie dearly AND am so excited and thrilled for all the experiences she's having in Chile. 

Every Monday we get to hear about her week and see her beautiful face. What would this have been like a few years ago when missionaries only called home a couple times a year? I'm not sure my heart could have handled it! 

Today, there's a part of me that feels like I'm experiencing her mission with her because I get to hear the updates so regularly. I know the names of the people she's teaching. I know when her week is tough, and I know when her week is fun. I can see her smile and watch her interact with the Chilean people while I'm FaceTiming, and it all feels so amazing. 

It's crazy how much happiness and joy she's still able to bring into our home while being away.

9. A True Friend Would Never Make Fun of your Headphones.

 And Everly is a true friend. Now, if only they'd make the buzzers at the basketball games a little quieter.

Gnomies

Our friend group has a new name. 

We call ourselves the Gnomies.

For Laurie's birthday we dressed as gnomes and Roamed the Gardens. 

We started at the Olive Garden, where our server seemed genuinely disappointed to learn that we didn't have another gnome set for her to wear.

We all decided that eating with beards is absolutely the worst thing ever, and we cannot understand why anyone would choose, on purpose, to have hair on their faces for more than one silly evening.

After our fill at the Olive Garden, we drove to the Cactus Garden at Ethel M. Chocolate Factory. Every December the chocolate factory decorates their cactus garden with Christmas lights (which... yikes. Can you even imagine that job?!) and we felt it would be the perfect place for gnomes to roam, but as we pulled into the parking lot, it became evident that hordes of other people wanted to roam there, too (though, not as gnomes). So, like good little gnomes, we swallowed our disappointment and turned around, unable to wait in the long line for tickets if we wanted to stay on schedule.

No worries, though. We're good at thinking on our feet, so we drove to the nearest Home Depot and roamed their Garden Center instead.

And we agreed that Home Depot was probably far, far more fun than the cactus garden would have been anyway.

I hope I never forget the way the garden center employee's eyes lit up as she saw us approaching. She tried to hold in her laughter until we engaged in conversation with her and broke the ice. Then, her laughs were free, and it was clear that her stressful, boring night had turned completely around.

At one point, while we were all heading to the bathrooms, we passed by an employee who stopped dead in his tracks and unabashedly watched us pass with a surprised and goofy smile.

Laurie turned to whisper in my ear, "We are bringing joy to people tonight."

And I almost cried with how true her statement felt. 

It was an extremely quiet night at the Home Depot, which made each encounter meaningful. Throughout the night, parents would point us out to their children ("Look! Gnomes!"), others would point their phones in our directions to take pictures, and everyone seemed genuinely delighted to see us. 

It was just what I needed to get out of a funk I'd been in for a while.

Because it feels good to make people laugh. It feels good to see their tired, bored eyes light up with some excitement.

And it feels good to be surrounded with good, wholesome women.

It was a magical night.

And, I did just learn that McKenzie whips the following picture out whenever someone in Chile wants to see a picture of her mom:

We then headed to the movie theater to see the new Trolls movie. Which, I know. Trolls are not exactly the same as gnomes, but we figured it was close enough.

The teenager at the ticket booth made us laugh because he remained stoic and didn't acknowledge anything odd about the situation when six middle-aged moms dressed up as gnomes approached him and bought tickets to the show. We even had a real conversation with him because we had mis-read the time, and he held his composure the whole time. After we purchased the correct tickets and turned our backs to the booth, the ticket guy slowly reached for a paper gnome that had been sitting out of our sight and sat it where we could see it.

He spoke no words about it, just held it there quietly waiting for us to notice. When we did, we laughed and rushed back to the booth to greet our gnome friend, and the teenager in the booth finally cracked a smile.

He told us after the show that we had made his night. His boss had come in earlier that day and hidden lots of those paper gnomes around the theater for the employees to enjoy, and he said when we showed up it brought the whole night together. When he learned that we had not been planted there by his boss, he laughed even harder.

It was certainly a night to remember.

And I will be forever grateful for my Gnomies.

Timothy in December

1. When You Have a 10-Year-Old Comedian in the House, You Learn to Roll With Things.

Is it so wrong to want my home to speak words of encouragement and love?

BELIEVE, is a beautiful message at Christmastime! Believe in the Savior, Believe in the magic, Believe in the miracles.

But Timothy thinks differently. 

Back and forth, back and forth, all throughout the month the red-letter message changed to reflect the last occupant of the room.

2. Sometimes Our Small Town Events Feel Straight Out of an Episode of Parks and Rec.

It's charming. Timothy and his elementary school choir sang at the Luminaria this year, a celebration to welcome the Christmas season to Boulder City. Put on by a local Christian church community, Luminaria is everything you would want an endearing sitcom to be. Held on the recreational basketball courts and the adjoining stage with a hand-painted mural on the back wall (because a basketball court with a stage and a hand painted mural is a thing here), there was live music featuring folky sisters and their ukuleles, a shaky spotlight that illuminated just the area around their faces, candles in white paper bags arranged in m.o.s.t.l.y straight lines, a theatrical rendition of the Christmas Story with adult actors no more polished than your average primary kids (tinsel wings, shepherds missing their cues, lines delivered to the back wall)... it was all spectacular. 

And one of the featured gigs of the night was Timothy's choir.

Timothy was my favorite, dressed up in his gray suit jacket and singing his soul. My second favorite was the kid standing next to him in what most certainly must be his father's shirt.

3. The Atmosphere in Your Heart Can Feel a Lot Different Than the Atmosphere Around You.

And sometimes it's really hard not to let one negatively affect the other. Those eyes on Timothy up there tell a story a mother can hear - maybe you can hear it, too. His fifth grade experience has been hard. From his perspective, the kids are unruly and loud, and the teachers are frustrated and harsh. His gentle heart feels sandwiched in the middle, concerned for the teachers who are trying to manage the chaos and concerned for the students who receive yelling and punishment; concerned for the kids who are being bullied by the bullies, and concerned for the bullies who are being bullied by the teachers. 

In addition to all of that, he feels invisible. The teachers are so busy disciplining the trouble makers that the good kids go largely unnoticed.

He's been frustrated about it all year, and we have talked extensively about how to have charity for all involved.

I'll admit I had my doubts about what the 'real story' was... as trustworthy and observant as Timothy is, I'm aware that hearing everything from the perspective of a 10-year-old doesn't always paint the clearest picture. So when the opportunity came to spend five whole school days with his class on science field trips throughout the month of December, I was in.

In general I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I was sure Timothy was exaggerating about how bad things were - at least a little. But after spending time with the class I was shocked to find that Timothy was, unfortunately, under exaggerating. 

I spent those five days with wide, disbelieving eyes, and my heart hurt at the end of every day. My own, adult nervous system was all buzzed from having been in an atmosphere where the teachers did not lower their voices, and it was no wonder to me that the kids felt anxious, too. One teacher in particular spoke to me and to the other adults in a normal tone, but I literally, in five whole days, did not hear her hold a conversation with a student that wasn't yelling, punitive, demeaning, or followed by an eye-roll to another adult.

To her credit, the kids are loud and unruly, but I don't feel that they are excessively so. They are fifth-graders for heaven's sake, and I think they have simply learned to tune her out in order to maintain some sort of peace within themselves. I'm guessing this has caused her to become louder and more stern throughout the year, and I think that's probably how we've gotten to where we are now. Her behavior, their behavior... one is the chicken and one is the egg.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of unkind behavior going on between the students, too, and I can't help but wonder if it's in response to the example being modeled.

At the end of the experience, I am still coaching Timothy on how to exercise charity for all involved. He wants for me to get him into another classroom, and while I deeply understand why he wants that, I am generally not one to fight for circumstantial changes. I have found so much personal growth and peace in learning the art of self-mastery under difficult circumstances, and I want that for my kids, too. And Timothy is in a pretty great classroom for some intense learning opportunities currently. 

But I'm also trying to be a lot more responsive to him at home, giving him good attention and building up his character as much as I possibly can.

It's hard to send your kid out into the world when you know their world is hard. 💔 But he is strong and capable and kind, and I know he's making a difference in that classroom.

4. As Hard as Any Circumstance May Be, You Can Always Find Flecks of Light.

Choir is one of those flecks for him. He adores his choir teacher, Mrs. Coker, and Mrs. Coker adores Timothy. In a choir of a hundred students, he often receives personal recognition and has landed every solo and part he's auditioned for. During Christmas-time, he played Santa Clause, and regularly made people in the audience laugh with his comedic timing. 

Feeling a little bashful about the amount of recognition he receives at the hand of Mrs. Coker, I mentioned to her in passing that she didn't need to give him solos in every show, to which she replied, "I do not give solos; the students earn them. Timothy is deserving."

Bless her for seeing his light at a time he needs it most.

5. Just Leaving This Here:

6. Performing for the Polar Express

Somehow we ended up at this school event with just Timothy- which made the whole night extra special. His hair is sweaty and matted because he had just performed in his Santa suit. Aside from the whole 5th grade teaching situation, one of the things I love most about Boulder City are the schools... they are poured into by so many great leaders and families, and the events they throw are creative, dynamic, and fun.

Our principle dressed up in a conductors suit - hat and all - and greeted each child with a conductors greeting as he punched their ticket to board the Polar Express (which was a Country Club Clubhouse.)

Inside they had dinner, hot chocolate, entertainment, and crafts, and it was a great way to spend a December night with our favorite 5th grader.

7. Another Awesome Thing About the School Community

I would choose to live in a small town again and again and again. Every year, the 5th graders have a unit on money management where they learn about earning, budgeting and spending. Through October and November they look for little 'jobs' to earn spending money, and then spend December drawing up a proposed budget for Christmas gifts, getting the budgets approved by parents and teachers, and taking a full-day shopping field trip to downtown Boulder City.

They walk the few blocks from their school to the chamber of commerce building where the mayor starts their morning talking about how important it is to support local businesses and how the taxes they pay there benefit the community they live in. We spend a few minutes getting the students into small groups of 5 or 6 with chaperones, and then we walk the streets of Boulder City all. day. long. We visit the local shops in town (there are many) perusing and searching for the perfect gifts to wrap for mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, etc. Most of the shops have coupons and discounts for the kids, and they have 'Welcome 5th Graders!' signs in their windows to greet them. The kids feel special and use their own money, counting out their quarters and pennies to patient cashiers. 

We stop for lunch somewhere along the way, and after every stop we pause to record their expenses on a budget sheet. By the end of the day, their purses are lighter, and their bags are laden with gifts for the people in their lives that they love. Everyone feels happy and successful.

It's my favorite field trip to chaperone. They all know roughly what they are looking for (it's part of their planning assignments), but it's fun to see the excitement when they lock in their gift. One kid jumped up and down when he saw that the hardware store sold water bottles in red because, "My dad loves to drink water, and he loves the color red!!!" Slam dunk. The hardware store, a gem store, antique shops, a comic book shop, boutiques, a toy store, a homemade soap store, an alien store, Boulder City is a treasure trove for fun and unique gifts.

At the end of the day, just before we were supposed to meet back up with the rest of the school, all of my boys had just enough money left over to visit Grandma Daisy's candy shop.

It's taken me a few thousand beats, but I'm really starting to love living in this place.