You Really Love Me!

In the previous post, you see that McKenzie is a fairy. Do not assume, however, that this was an easy decision...

On the contrary, McKenzie had her heart set on being a fox for two whole months before Halloween. So, for two whole months, I wondered, 'How in the world am I going to make a fox costume?'

Being the procrastinator that I am, I didn't start shopping for the kids' costume materials until two days before the ward Trunk-or-Treat party. To make a long story short, I spent two hours in Wal-Mart - most of it searching for a way to turn my daughter into a fox - before I came out holding three shopping bags and feeling like I was pointed in the right direction. I spent the rest of the day (literally, the rest of the day) sewing an orange towel into a fox-suit. I had pictures of foxes up on the internet to guide my sewing (word to the wise: be careful when you google the image 'fox'...I guess 'foxy' is pretty similar - yikes!), and finally had an outfit for her to try on. She tried the fox costume on and glanced over to the pictures on the computer. From that moment on, she dissolved into tears every time we mentioned that she was going to be a fox for Halloween. 'WHAT?' I thought, 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?'

I tried and tried and tried to convince her that being a fox would be the coolest thing ever - I guess she didn't realize how closely a fox resembles her archenemy: the dog. I think she got scared when she saw the pictures... She kept saying through her tears, "Mom, I just want to be a people for Halloween."

So, I decided to give it a rest for the night and talk about it the next morning.

The next day I took her to JoAnn Fabrics with me to get a zipper for Carson's skunk costume. Again, I tried to plant it in her head that foxes are cool - but she never has been one to be distracted or swayed.

At first, it wasn't even an option for her to be anything else - I had already put the time into the fox costume and that was that. She could be a fox, or nothing at all. This attitude was very clear to McKenzie, and pretty soon more tears were shed. And then, my attitude changed. It wasn't her tears that brought about that change (though, looking into those sad eyes was heartbreaking), but a little thought inside my head that said, "Your mom would have done anything for you." I remember that feeling of love I felt when my mom sacrificed some of herself to help me be happy. And as McKenzie looked at me with those tear filled eyes in the middle of JoAnn's, the love I felt for her swallowed me whole. I thought, 'If sacrificing a small part of myself can give her a small whiff of this love, then I guess I'm willing to do it.'

Let's not pretend that I wasn't still frustrated, but, we started to brainstorm. All of her other ideas were either too expensive, or would take too much time (this is, remember, the day before). But, finally, we were walking down the isle with the chiffon, and sparkley materials when her eyes lit up and she said, "Mom! I want to be a fairy!"

'Okay, we can do that,' I thought. She had a fairy dress-up that Nana bought her last year, so we bought some beautiful cream-colored material to make a long-sleeved shirt to go underneath it, some blue glitter and some sparkley pipe cleaners to make a wand. She was in heaven!

Having children of my own, I'm beginning to see more and more of the small sacrifices my mom makes; I'm realizing that it's not in a mother's intuition to sacrifice willingly; and I'm starting to understand - she does it all because she really does love me.
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